Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men? A. It changes their DNA.
What is the main difference between men and boys? Men's toys cost more.
What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.
Why do men have 2 heads and women 4 lips? Cause men do all the thinking and women do all the talking.
What's the difference between men and government bonds? Bonds mature.
Men: Bros before Hoes. Women: Sisters before Misters.
Why can't men get mad cow disease? Because they are pigs.
Why are Men like parking spaces? The good ones are already taken!
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue
Why do men prefer blondes? Because they like intellectual companionship.
Why do men get their great ideas in bed? Because their plugged into a genius!
Why did god invent men? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn
Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself type.
Why does a penis have a hole in the end? So men can be open minded.
What do men and mascara have in common? They both run at the first sign of emotion.
What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
Men always miss them.
For you men who think a woman's place is in the kitchen, remember... that's where the knives are kept.
Why don't some men have a mid-life crisis? They're stuck in adolescence.
If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it… He's gay, definitely gay.
I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is... Scaring men is easy.
Why are men se*ier than women? You can't spell se*y without xy. Why are men like lawn mowers? They are difficult to get started, emit foul smells and don't work half the time!
Why do so few men end up in Heaven? They never stop to ask for directions
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking? They all already have boyfriends.
How many men does it take to tile a bathroom? Two - if you slice them very thinly.
What do men and pantyhose have in common? They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the crotch!
Why are men like cars? Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is cumming.