What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? SUPPLIES!
An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is. 'I'm 90 years old,' he says. '90!' replies the woman. 'Don't you realize you've had it?' 'Oh, sorry,' says the old man. 'How much do I owe you?'
An elderly man went to his doctor and said, 'Doc, I think I'm getting senile.. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.'
'That's not senility,' replied the doctor. 'Senility is when you forget to zip down.'
Why did Princess Leia lose all her friends and family? She got involved with Alderaan people.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain? "Don't worry, I've got you covered."
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long? Becuase then it would be a foot.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep? For rest. (forest)
What does the visual system use to play basketball? Eyeballs.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use? A neural plate.
What do you call a hat for the brain? A thinking cap.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall? With a series of spinal taps.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest? They have lots of brains.
When is a synapse like a tree? When it is pruned.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed? It wanted to have a high resting potential.
Why are fish so smart? They spend a lot of time in schools.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office? It had trouble controlling its impulses.
When does it rain brains? During a brain storm.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain? Neural crest.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip? Thalamus and Louise.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera? Because they are very cultured.
What did parietal say to frontal? "I lobe you."
What is a neuron's favorite television channel? The Ion Channel
What is the brain's favorite television channel? The Neural Network.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child? It didn't want to get brain-washed.
What street does the hippocampus live on? Memory lane. Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
Why were the two retinas such good friends? They always saw eye-to-eye.
When does a brain get afraid? When it loses its nerve.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock? "This was a stimulating experience."
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra? Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.