Jokes that are either one liners, puns, knock knock jokes or funny pick up lines as well as some funny insults and comebacks.

The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.
I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.
My friend Joe recently went on the Dolly Parton diet...
It made Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe lean!
My scientist wife decided to test the hypothesis that more intercourse would improve our marriage. It's already been a week, and I've concluded...
that I'm in the control group.
My 4 yr Old son said "Daddy, why do people make up things that their children have said for social media?
Isn't it just inherently dishonest and indicative of inability to construct a compelling narrative themselves? "
What has 5 fingers but isn't your hand?
My hand.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
Why couldn't the boy run away with the farmer's daughter?
They were cantaloupe farmers.
A kid once asked me "How do Stars die?"
I told him "Usually of an Overdose."
The government announced that because of COVID, we can have gatherings of up to 5 people without issues.
Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without issues?
To the person who stole my glasses...
I will find you... I have good contacts!
Why was Yoda afraid of 7?
Because 6, 7, 8.
If I’m reading their lips correctly,
my neighbors are arguing about some creepy guy next door.
What do you call a werewolf YouTuber?
A lycansubscribe
You know you're getting old when your wife says, "Honey, lets run upstairs and make love,"
and you answer, "I can't do both."
What are the best kind of flowers to get your girlfriend after screwing up?
Whoopsie Daisies
When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party.
Now I'm homeless.
So my girlfriend left a note on the fridge saying "Sorry, this isn't working."
Then I opened the fridge and it was still working. Phew, I thought something bad is going to happen today.
What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus!
I saw an advert in the paper “Yacht for sale”.
As if people don't know what a yacht is for.
A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks: “Is this stool taken?”
Why was the anti-vaxxers 3 year old son crying?
He was having a mid life crisis.
It doesn't matter whether you are tall, short, fat, thin, rich, poor; at the end of the day...
It's night.
What do you call a woman with one leg?
Eileen.
What's a gay arab's favorite meal?
Homos.
What do you call a gay dinosaur?
Mega sore ass
What happened when the knife went for a drive?
It took a sharp turn.
How do you get red color from green color?
You put frog in mixer.
Teacher: Use a sentence that starts with "I"
Bobby: I is...

Teacher: No, Bobby. You should say "I am", never "I is".

Bobby: "I am the 9th letter of the alphabet."
I was going to make a joke about losing your senses due to COVID.
But I decided it was poor taste.
My boyfriend said I have daddy issues.
That's hilarious because I never even met the man!