So, you have come to the civilized section of Chess Puns. Check it out, mate...

My exotic bird challenged me to a game of chess
I told him, "Toucan play at that game."
"Check, mate."

"Checkmate."

"Hey! Can I get the check, mate?!?"
What do you call a group of chess players bragging about how they won in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
I don't know where I put my queen after the last chess game.
Maybe she's lost I need to check.
What did Michael Jackson say to his chess opponent?
“It don’t matter if you’re black or white.”
I've recently got a job making chess pieces.
I'm mostly working knights.
I like playing chess with old people in the park, but it gets hard to find 32 of them each time.
My last chess game went a bit medieval.
We both went for the castle.
I left chess club early this week.
I was just so board.
An Australian chess player went into a restaurant and ordered food. After having his food , the waiter asked him "Cash or Credit , Sir?"
He said "Cheque , mate."
What's a chess player's favourite starter?
Pawn cocktail.
What do you call a girl who's very good at human chess and checkers?
Ingrid.
What do chess players from the Czech Republic call their friends?
Czech-mates.
When I first started playing chess, I thought the castle could move diagonally.
Classic rook-y mistake.
I went on a date with a Chess World Champion the other night.
It took her about 10 minutes to pass the salt.
"Come follow me and I will make you a Fischer of men."
Not to brag, but I beat the state chess champion in less than 5 moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
My favourite piece in chess is the rook
It is the most straight-forward.
What did one pirate say to the other when he beat him in chess.
Check matey!
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
What is the favorite chess move of ants with bladder problems?
En pissant.
What did the Australian Chess player say about the mouldy bread?
"Stalemate."
Where do chess grandmasters keep their pet snakes?
In a chesst.
I was watching a chess champion vs a boxing champion match.
The chess player had a mean right rook!
"Reti or not, here I come!"