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Leg

A blue man gives you a pineapple. A man with a horse for a head gives you a blender. A man with seven feet on each leg gives you a dragonfruit. What do you have?
Schizophrenia
I Was Going to Tell a Joke, But...
I Was Going to Tell a Joke, But... I'd tell you a confidence joke but I'm insecure I'd tell a war joke but I'm afraid it would bomb I'd tell an enema joke but you couldn't hold it in I'd tell a flogger joke but it doesn't have much impact. I'd tell a bondage joke but it's too restrictive. I'd tell you an underground railroad joke but you'd run away. I'd tell a monotone joke but it doesn't have any range I'd tell a hanging joke but I always choke \I'd tell you a constipation joke, but it's full of... well, you know. I'd tell a Wesley Snipes tax joke but it's too evasive I'd tell a big ass joke but it's too much to grasp I'd tell an amputee joke but I don't have a leg to stand on I'd tell a cyber-security joke but you couldn't hack it I'd tell a joke about a joke but it'd be recursive I'd tell a pot joke but it's half baked I'd tell a small penis joke but there's not enough there I'd tell a gay joke but I'm not sure I could tell it straight I'd tell a porky pig joke but tha..tha..that's all folks!
The Weird Leg Noises
The Weird Leg Noises A man went to the doctor. He said, "Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!" The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man's thigh only to hear, "Gimme 20 bucks, I really need 20 bucks." "I've never seen or heard anything like this before, how long has this been going on." The doctor asked. "That's nothing Doc. put your ear to my knee." The doctor put his ear to the man's knee and heard it say "Man, I really need 10 bucks, just lend me 10 bucks!!" "Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've never seen anything like this." The doctor was dumbfounded. "Wait Doc, that's not it. There's more, just put your ear up to my ankle," the man urged him. The doctor did as the man said and was blown away to hear his ankle plead, "Please, I just need 5 bucks. Lend me 5 bucks please if you can." I have no idea what to tell you," the doctor said. "There's nothing about it in my books," he said as he frantically searched all his medical reference books. "I can make a well educated guess though. Based on life and all my previous experience I can tell you that your leg appears to be broke in three places."
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
I invented beach footwear for people with one leg.
It was a flop.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
How did the frog feel when he hurt his leg?
Unhoppy
What do you call a carnival worker who’s eating a turkey leg?
A carnie-vor.
The Queen of the Nile was said to always show a bit of leg...
but Nefertiti.
I used to be engaged to a girl with a wooden leg.
But I broke it off.
What happened to the pirate who lost his peg leg?
He couldn't find it, so he was stumped.
I thought I broke my leg when I tripped over a box of Kleenex last night
But the doctor said it's only tissue damage.
It doesn’t help that my doctor keeps making fun of my broken leg. He’s just adding insult to injury.
What do you call a woman with one leg?
ILENE.
If a woman with big breasts works at Hooters, where does someone with one leg work?
IHOP.
What do you call a martial artist who injured his leg?
Bruised Knee.
Breaking a leg during an audition ensures you're in the cast.