What do you call a gangsta snowman? Froze-T
Did you hear about the kidnapping? He woke up.
Why is it so windy inside a stadium?
There are hundreds of fans.
What streets do ghosts haunt? Dead ends!
Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory? He couldn't concentrate!
What do you call a baby monkey? A Chimp off the old block.
Q: What did the tooth say to the dentist as she was leaving?
A: Fill me in when you get back
What did the penny say to the other penny? We make perfect cents.
I went to the doctor with hearing problems. He said, "Can you describe the symptoms?"
I said, “Homer’s the big dude and Marge has blue hair...”
Why did Goofy put a clock under his desk? Because he wanted to work over-time!
Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way.
What did the M&M go to college? Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
Q: Doctor, I keep hearing a ringing sound.
A: Then answer the phone!
Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
Why don’t you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?
Shocked!
Q: What does a dentist do during an earthquake?
A: She braces herself!
Why does a hummingbird hum? It doesn't know the words!
How do you organize a space party? You planet!
What is brown and sticky?
A stick!
Why did Tony go out with a prune? Because he couldn't find a date!
What did the policeman say to his tummy?
Freeze. You’re under a vest.
Q: What did the dentist get for an award?
A: A little plaque
What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? "Where's Popcorn?"
Question: What is the oldest animal?
Answer: The Zebra, it's still in black and white!
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What did the snowman ask the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why are chefs so mean? They beat eggs and whip cream.
What kind of driver never get a parking ticket? A screw driver
What did the painter say to the wall? One more crack like that and I'll plaster you!
What did the tie say to the hat? You go on ahead and I'll hang around!
What do you call the new girl at the bank? The Nutella!
What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? A CAT-HAS-TROPHY! How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogey in it!
Teacher: Use a sentence that starts with "I"
Bobby: I is...
Teacher: No, Bobby. You should say "I am", never "I is".
Bobby: "I am the 9th letter of the alphabet."
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? SUPPLIES!
Why did the belt go to jail? Because it held up a pair of pants!
What runs but can't walk? The faucet!
What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits!
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer!
What has one horn and gives milk? A milk truck.
How did the farmer mend his pants? With cabbage patches!
What do you call two fat people having a chat? A heavy discussion
How do you know when a bike is thinking?
You can see its wheels turning.
Can February march?
No, but April may.
What do you call a South American girl who is always in a hurry? Urgent Tina
How did the baby tell her mom that she had a wet diaper?
She sent her a pee-mail.
Q: Did you hear the one about the virus?
A: Never mind, I don't want to spread it around.
What do bulls do when they go shopping? They CHARGE!
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no-body to go with.
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