Knock knock…
Who’s there?
Voodoo.
Voodoo who?
Voodoo you think you are?
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An Investigator
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He felt crummy!
Why didn’t the lamp sink?
It was too light.
Knock Knock
Who's There?
I eat grape.
I eat grape who?
You eat grey poo!
What goes up when the rain comes down? An umbrella.
Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep? So he could have sweet dreams. What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare.
Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab? The scientists were brainstorming!
Little Johnny's teacher said,
"Johnny, your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's."
"Did you copy hers?" she asked.
Johnny replied, "No, teacher, it's the same dog!"
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta
What did Bacon say to Tomato? Lettuce get together!
What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it? Post Office!
Did you hear about the party a little boy had for his sisters barbie dolls? A. It was a Barbie-
How do you repair a broken tomato? Tomato Paste!
What do you call it when your nose is stuffy at the rodeo?
Cowboy Boogie.
What did the earth say to all the other planets?
Wow you guys have no life.
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
What did they baby corn say to the mama corn?
Where’s pop corn?
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
Which is the building is the largest? The library because it has the most stories.
What streets do ghosts haunt? Dead ends!
What do you call a South American girl who is always in a hurry? Urgent Tina
What do you call the new girl at the bank? The Nutella!
Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture? None of the rolls (roles) were good enough.
What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt!
Knock, knock
Who’s There?
Annie
Annie Who?
Annie thing you can do, I can do better.
"How do you shoot a killer bee?" "With a bee bee gun."
Where do snowmen keep their money? In snow banks.
What do you get if you a cross a card game with a typhoon? Bridge over troubled water.
What is considered the tallest building in the world?
The library, because it has so many stories.
What has one horn and gives milk?
A milk truck.
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A private tutor.
What do you call a boy who finally stood up to the bullies? An ambulance.
What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Tentacles.
What did the M&M go to college? Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
What did one math book say to the other?
I’ve got so many problems.
What does Minnie Mouse drive?
A Minnie van!
Why do we never tell jokes about pizza?
They’re too cheesy.
What did the tailor think of her new job? It was sew sew.
What did the policeman say to his tummy?
Freeze. You’re under a vest.
If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware? Idaho... Alaska!
What do you call a magician that lost his magic?
Ian.
Why are elephants so wrinkled?
Because they take too long to iron!
The opposite of isolate is...
yousoearly.
Why did the cross-eyed teacher lose her job? Because she couldn't control her pupils?
Did you hear the joke about the roof? Never mind, it's over your head!
What do you get when you cross Sonic The Hedgehog and Curious George? 2 Fast 2 Curious
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!