How does a church congregation defend against an attack by Galactic Imperial Stormtroopers?
They use the pew, pew-pew pews.
What kind of key opens a banana? A monkey!
What is a tree's favorite drink? Root beer!
Did you hear the joke about the roof? Never mind, it's over your head!
What Do You Call A Bear With No Teeth? A Gummy Bear
Why did God make only one Yogi Bear? Because when he tried to make a second one he made a Boo-Boo.
Why did the banana go to the Doctor? Because it was not peeling well
What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can’t tunafish.
Where do cows go on December 31st?
A moo year’s eve party.
Did you hear about that new broom? It's sweeping the nation!
Did you hear about the two bed bugs who met in the mattress? They got married in the spring.
If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware? Idaho... Alaska!
What was the seal's favorite subject in school?
ART ART ART!
What does Minnie Mouse drive?
A Minnie van!
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole in one!
What word looks the same backwards and upside down? Swims
What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits!
Did you hear about the paddle sale at the boat store? It was quite an oar deal.
Q: Why did the tree go to the dentist?
A: To get a root canal.
Why was the weightlifter upset?
She worked with dumbbells.
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
Why did the insomniac man get arrested? He resisted a rest
Q: When does a doctor get mad?
A: When he runs out of patients!
What do you call a sheep with no head and no legs? A cloud!
Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab? The scientists were brainstorming!
What did Bacon say to Tomato? Lettuce get together!
What did the tie say to the hat? A. You go on ahead and I'll hang around
What is an astronaut's favorite place on a computer? The Space bar!
What’s Thanos’ favorite app to talk to friends?
Snap chat.
Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
What do you call sad coffee?" Despresso.
What did the M&M go to college? Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? Odor in the court. What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Dam!
How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?
Shocked!
Why did the soccer player bring string to the game? So he could tie the score.
What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie.
What did the femur say to the patella? I kneed you.
Why doesn't iron form a good bond with other metals?
Because it has rust issues!
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He felt crummy!
What do you call a baby monkey? A Chimp off the old block.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, cows go MOO!
What do you call a magician that lost his magic?
Ian.
Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way.
What did one elevator say to the other elevator? I think I'm coming down with something!
What game does the sky love to play?
Twister.
Did you hear the joke about the roof?
Never mind, it’s over your head.
Why did Harry Potter throw away all his old potions?
They were past their hexpiration date!
What do you do if someone rolls their eyes at you?
Roll them back.
What do you call a Bee who is having a bad hair day? A Frisbee.
What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa? A Clausterphobic
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