Short Jokes for Kids

This is where you find the clean funny jokes kids of all ages can enjoy.

What scares a caterpillar?
A dog-erpillar!
Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped on chewing gum? He got stuck in Orbit.
What do you call a three-footed aardvark? a yardvark!
How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant.
What did the tie say to the hat? A. You go on ahead and I'll hang around
Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A: He was feeling really crumbie!
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?
How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path.
Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why.
'I've lost five dollars,' sobbed Johnny.
'Don't worry,' said his dad kindly.'
Here's five more for you,' At this Johnny howled louder than ever.
'Now what is it ?' asked his dad.
'I wish I'd said I'd lost ten dollars!'
What did one aspiring wig say to the other aspiring wig? I wanna get a head!
What did the tailor think of her new job? It was sew sew.
What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no-body to go with.
Why didn't the 11 year old go to the pirate movie? because it was rated arrrrr!
Whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can roast beef, but you cant pea soup!
What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickleback.
What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can’t tunafish.
What do you call leftover aliens? Extra Terrestrials.
Why did the boy eat his homework? Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!
Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school? Because they're all in High School!
Why are teddy bears never hungry?
They’re always stuffed!
Did you hear about the vampire bicycle that went round biting people's arms off? It was a vicious cycle.
What game does the sky love to play?
What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear
Why are elephants so wrinkled?
Because they take too long to iron!
What runs but doesn't get anywhere? A refrigerator.
Why do sharks swim in saltwater?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
What is large and rocky at the bottom, small and snowy at the top and has ears?
Give up? A mountain.

Yeah but what about the ears?

You never heard of mountaineers?
What never asks questions but receives a lot of answers? the Telephone.
Can February march?
No, but April may.
What do you call a very rude bird?
A mockingbird!
What do you get if you a cross a card game with a typhoon? Bridge over troubled water.
Why don’t you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
Why did the robber take a bath? Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.
Why can't a leopard hide? Because he's always spotted!
What was the seal's favorite subject in school?
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
What stays on the ground but never gets dirty? Shadow.
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts. What do you call cheese that is not yours? Nacho Cheese
What do you call having your grandma on speed dial? Instagram.
Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?

To go with the traffic jam!
What goes up and down but doesn't move? The temperature!
Q: Why did the pillow go to the doctor?
A: He was feeling all stuffed up!
Why did the God of Thunder need to stretch his muscles so much when he was a kid?
He was a little Thor.
Did you hear about the new corduroy pillowcases? Their making headlines...
Little Johnny asked his father, "Dad, can you write in the dark?"
His father said, "I think so. What do you want me to write?"
Little Johnny replied, "Oh, just sign this report card for me..."
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue
What garment are you most likely to spot a house in?
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
Q: What did the tooth say to the dentist as she was leaving?
A: Fill me in when you get back
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