A packing plant received a load of lettuce to process. The workers grabbed the boxes quickly from the top and the bottoms fell out spilling the produce.
The boss yells, grab the boxes by the bottom, or heads are going to roll!
What do the ducks have for dinner? They have Quackers and soup.
How can you make a computer system cry? Delete his cookies.
Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
When she spotted fake ramen in her soup, she said, “ This soup has impasta in it.”
Maturity is typically most rapid in a low latitude, where women and pineapples most do thrive.
A peach biologist was looking for a peach-tree-dish for his upcoming experiment.
What do murderers drink? Cruel-tea.
I went to Taco Bell and order nacho fries
the person behind the counter wouldn't give them to me, just kept saying "nacho fries".
My wife looked at me and said “You think you’re pretty sharp, don’t you?”
What nut is always begging for attention?
Pssst-tachios.
Did you hear about the lowest grade of steak? It's where the rubber meats the road.
What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.
On Mother's Day we went strawberry picking and made a jam from the fruits of our labor.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
What did the baby corn call his dad?
Pop corn!
Where did the spinach go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
Where do you put nectarines when you want to freeze them? Inside the peach-zer.
How do you make soup rich? Add 24 carrots.
What would a potato say to a peach? – “You have a nice pit!”
An organization that citricises its workers cannot get the maximum juice out of them.
If Jim has 15 watermelons and throws one at Mary, what does Mary have?
“A really bad headache!”
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert? Cause he was stuffed.
What was the donut’s least favorite part of its day?
I’m not really sure; it glazed over that part.
Mum, you are my soup-er star.
What is the suckiest fruit?
A strawberry.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
I love you from my head tomato
Q: Why could the fruits not see anything?
A: It was peach black there.
When you find a blue strawberry, try to cheer it up.
A bowl of salad went to church
Lettuce pray.
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
Even though Jake was a heartthrob Casanova, he just had to break up with his long-time watermelon vending girlfriend; said she was always melondramatic about everything.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party?
You can have your cake and eat it too.
National Herbs and Spices Day is celebrated annually on June 10.
How long does it take to brew Chinese tea? Oolong time.
The soup was busy and preoccupied. He was stewing over something his friend said.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
Went to the doctor because I got a strawberry stuck in my ear
He gave me some cream for it
What do teapots wear to a tea party? A T-shirt.
Why did the orange go to the doctor?
“It wasn’t peeling well.”
When should you take a cookie to the doctor? When it feels crummy. What do the cookie and the computer have in common? They both have chips.
The Japanese restaurant serves the best soups. It will always make miso happy.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite Village People song?
Nacho Man.
Why did the banana go out with a prune?
Because he couldn't find a date.
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