How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
Why is the corn army so dysfunctional?
Cause there are too many Kernels.
One day, a young weasel went to the bar. The bartender took one look at him and says, “You are under-aged. I can’t serve you beer.” The weasel asks, “What can I have?”
The bartender replies, “I have bottled water, juice, energy drinks, and pop.”
“Pop!” goes the weasel.
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
What did the nectarine say after the church service? The peacher gave a great sermon!
What did the priest say before he and his family ate their salad?
Lettuce pray.
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
What did the nut say to his girlfriend at the pine-ic? “I am nuts about you, cashew see!”
I keep thinking I'll make breakfast pancakes, but I end up waffling.
Do not eat that alphabet soup, or you will have a vowel movement.
Did you hear about the secret guild of bakers? They say that they only trade recipes on a knead to know basis.
What did the cherry say when it was given a bunch of flowers? You are cherry sweet.
My wife made gluten free, carb free, salt free spaghetti last night
It was not real food, it was an impasta.
If you coriander into my tomato soup, you will give me a soup-herb dish.
What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?
Looking sharp!
What do you call a dentist who doesn't like tea? Denis.
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A “hollow-weenie!”
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
The young lady had to throw her toaster in the trash. She was diagnosed as black-toast intolerant.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
What is a cannibal's favourite cheese? Limburger
When the unripe strawberry saw the ripe one, it was green with envy.
What can you only drink in the Middle East? Dust-Tea.
What do they call Chris Christie in New Jersey? Cake Boss.
I’m chocolate to my appointment!
One strawberry said to the other, “Were it not that you were so sweet, you wouldn’t have ended up in this jam.”
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
What happens after you eat an entire gallon of "All Natural" ice cream? You get Breyer's remorse!
What do you get when an Elephant sits on an Orange?
Orange squash.
What kind of cheese makes the best music?
Brieoncé.
Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain? He's got no beef.
Since her parents wanted to become wealthy fast, they ensured their daughter had an orange-d marriage.
What's a woman and a tea bag got in common?
You don't know strong they are till you put them in hot water.
Me: "Alexa check my bank balance and tell me which apple product can I buy?"
Alexa- "Apple juice."
It’s time to think outside the pizza box.
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
Why did the vegetable thief wet his pants?
Because he took a leek!
Knock, knock
Who’s there? CIA CIA, who? CI ate your last doughnut!
What's a nervous person's favorite drink?
Insecuri tea!
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
This corn is a little rough to the touch. Looks like a job for Kernel Sanders.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
Who answers the door at the nut house?
The peanut buttler.
I told the cowboy to eat salad with his fingers
He said he needed a ranch hand.
What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
Go to BabaMail
