What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
What do you call a pickle that got run over on the road?
Road dill.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
What do you call a girl with no arms, no legs, sitting in a watermelon patch?
“Melanie! (melon-y)”
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture? None of the rolls (roles) were good enough.
The informant obtained their information by burying themselves in the ground, disguised with a crown and some rind. Police called him the pineapple plant.
I have a beer snob friend with Photophobia. He hates natural light.
What kind of party is held in a cornfield?
A cornball!
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
I've started a Taco Bell themed John Coltrane cover band.x
We're called Crunchwrap Supremex
What kind of socks do you need to plant cayenne pepper? Garden hose!
Have you heard of the garlic diet? You don't lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner!
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
Be careful what you say in a corn maze. The walls have ears.
Why was the chef surprised that anyone like her bread?
She thought it was crumby.
What do you call a house that likes food? a Condoment!
“I only like lemons,”
Said Michael zestfully.
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
"Cashew."
The only thing that looks like half a strawberry is the other half.
When she spotted fake ramen in her soup, she said, “ This soup has impasta in it.”
When Berry the dog dug up the woman's strawberry patch, she angrily exclaimed "That is the final straw, Berry."
Why did the strawberry get bruised? Because it was under pear pressure.
hat’s the most sophisticated kind of bread?
The upper crust.
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
Why do communist hate bacon?
Because it’s from capitalist pigs.
Have you wondered what made the strawberry such a smoothie? It is the yoghurt of course.
How did I make the mango tree fit in my flower-pot?
I planted it.
What do you call half a head of lettuce?
The Romaine-der.
I sent back the soup served to me at the restaurant. It was not of soup-reme quality.
What did Yoda say when he turned a patron away for ordering a pie?
“Dough. Or doughnut. There is no pie.”
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
Why did the cherry blossom tree seem scared when it was trying to make a cherry pie? Because it was baking like a leaf.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
Remind your kids not to overdo it on the pumpkin pie this time of year.
Or they might get autumn'y ache.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
My mom likes to feed everyone the soup she makes. She said it is her broth right.
The fruit stutters because it suffers from a peach impediment.
If you put your ear up to a Taco Shell
You can hear the Sí.
When an unripe strawberry saw the ripe strawberry, it went green with envy.
After I show a peach the way, it says: “I really ap-peach-iate your help!”
What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.
What do you get when you use a cookie cutter shaped like a deer? Cookie doe!
How do you make Ohio State University cookies? Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
Why did the banana go to the hairdressers? Because it had split ends!
I have so mushroom in my heart for you.
I stopped for lunch at a German restaurant, but unfortunately got food poisoning. It really was the wurst.
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
The lettuce was ahead while the tomato tried to ketchup.
Teacher: What are the seasons? Student: Salt, pepper, ginger...
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