What's a pickle's favorite book?
To Dill A Mockingbird.
What do you drink before you audition for "The Voice" ? Tea-Lo Green
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
Cherries are actually great at a lot of different sports. Their favorite one, in case you were wondering, is archerry.
If you are wondering about the fuzziest character in the gaming world, well it is definitely Princess Peach.
What did the oranges do after concluding the meeting?
They peeled the deal.
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
Why did the donut go to the dentist? It needed a filling!"
What wisdom did the daddy cheese pass down to his son?
A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
I went to Taco Bell and order nacho fries
the person behind the counter wouldn't give them to me, just kept saying "nacho fries".
Did you hear about the policeman who tried to make love to a bacon slicer?
He had a tip off.
I got arrested for the way I eat corn.
They charged me with a salt and buttery.
Who is the superhero who loves to have soup all the time? Souper-man.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
What do you call a strong pumpkin?
A Jacked-o-Lantern.
All the peanuts decided to start a social nutwork where they would all link up for a common good and even advocate for their rights.
The unluckiest berry in the group is the one that drew the short straw-berry.
"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
A skeleton walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer and a mop.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
I went to the backyard this morning and saw a bird of prey drinking a pumpkin spice latte.
It was a millennial falcon.
What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Chocolate Chip Wookiee.
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
He ordered 6 vodkas, 6 beers and 6 lemonades. The bartender asked if he would like a tray.
"No I have enough to carry as it is."
What do we get when we cross a pineapple and a pig? We have a porky – pine!
How does the recipe for German chocolate cake begin? First, invade ze kitchen.
What is an elf’s favorite kind of birthday cake?
Shortcake!
I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.
What do you call a field full of epileptic lettuce ?
Seizure Salad
What do you call two watermelons that are not allowed to get married? A couple of can’t- elopes.
What did an angry donut say to his wife?
Donut talk to me.
What do you get from an Alaskan cow ? Ice Cream
What’s the difference between a Starbucks latte and a whore?
Nothing, they both suck and empty your wallet!
When the unripe strawberry saw the ripe one, it was green with envy.
The nut gave her boyfriend the kola shoulder for missing their date.
What do fruits do when they are avoiding a problem? They cherry their heads in the sand.
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.
What is yellow and goes bzzzzzz? An electric banana.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
What is the national fruit of Afghanistan?
Talibanana.
What do you call 2 fruits that can't get married?
Cantelopes.
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
I’d like to tell a joke about salt but then said to myself: "Na."
The cold broth is known to have lived in Stock-holm.
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