Why do farmers make terrible comedians?
Their jokes are corny!
The hipster burnt his tongue. He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
I just had the most manly craft beer at my Israeli restaurant.
It was called He-Brew.
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
What do you get when you spice up date night? Netflix and Chilis.
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
I really like corn, but I can't find it because this time of year it's never in stalk
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it's been sliced.
How did Reese eat her soup? Witherspoon.
My son just tried to tell me a joke about pumpkins.
Oh, gourd, was it awful.
I have so mushroom in my heart for you.
"You focaccia bag, crumb back and get it."
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
What do cannibals eat for dessert?
Chocolate covered aunts.
Why did the hummus blush?
Because it saw a chickpea!
I’m a wrapper, so I get a lot of dough. A bread wrapper, that is.
She was a little hesitant to try the new caramel flavor, but she decided to give it a shot, anyway.
Why are bread puns the greatest? They never grow mold.
"Stop and smell the rosé."
What is a chillin' banana's favorite song?
Mellow Yellow!
Why did the pumpkin pie go to a dentist?
Because it needed a filling.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
Why did the lemon fail its driving test?
Because it kept peeling out
What's the manliest fruit to eat?
Mango.
You've really struck a gourd with me...
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
"Two potatos are standing on a corner, how can you tell which one is a prostitute?" "The one that says IDAHO!"
Grandma: Do you like Hummus? Me: I love Hummus....and I sometimes like to singus!
What did the banker want from the baker?
To pump her nickels.
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
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