Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
Girl, you make my crotch rise from the dead
I may be dressed as a vampire tonihgt, but if you play your cards right you might be the one sucking
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
Girl, are you the Wuhan Corona Virus?
Because you’re taking my breath away.
I sneezed in the bank today, it was the most attention I have received in the last 10 years.
Don't worry, the Corona Virus won't last long... It was made in China.
Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
Me: I'll have a Corona please.
Waiter: *Cough*
Me: Thank you.
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
Hey, my parents are out of town. That means we have the haunted mansion all to ourselves.
Just saw a burglar kicking his own door in.
I asked: “What are you doing?”
“Working from home.”
This Corona virus is a blessing
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.
She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.
she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.
she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.
Best thing that has ever happened to me.
Hey, Baby do you want to see what tricks my treat could do?
John Travolta has been diagnosed with the Corona Virus.
He had chills that were multiplying.
We are 11 days into self-isolation ands it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks.
Don’t get me wrong, I empathize with her. I’ve considered letting her in many times, but rules are rules.
Who is running the corona virus relief?
WHO??
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
Is it true what they say about the size of a man’s canine teeth?
Corona Beer sales falter amid Corona virus crisis...
Guess their viral marketing strategy failed.
I am a mean green machine.
Hi, I'm a zombie, can I eat you?
Why did the vampire get a COVID test?
Because he was COFFIN.
I’m throwing a COVID-19 party this weekend.
None of you are invited.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
Listen to them, children of the night. Let’s give them some competition.
I've taken up online yoga since the COVID-19 outbreak started.
It helps me namaste at home.
The government announced that because of COVID, we can have gatherings of up to 5 people without issues.
Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without issues?
That mask is becoming on you. If it were me, I’d be coming too.
I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.
It was a shot in the dark, but I took it.
I really hope corona virus can't spread through s*x
It would be so lonely being the last man on Earth.
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
While it’s taking a while for the Corona virus to reach other countries, China got it right off the bat.
You should dress up as a baker for Halloween with that set of buns.
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak?
They stay in Quran-tine.
Are you dressed up as a tree? Cause you’re giving me wood.
My daughter told me COVID stinks and she misses her teacher...
I told her "I Ms. your teacher too."
With Coronavirus and our impending doom, I guess no one really had 2020 vision after all.
A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says "I'll have a Corona please, hold the virus."
I want a taste of your Milky Way.
Corona crisis reaches new level:
Iran out of toilet paper.
Did you hear the new pop song about Covid?
...it's pretty catchy.
Due to covid most exotic dancers have been furloughed.
Basically, they’ve been stripped of their source of income.
Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
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