I really hope corona virus can't spread through s*x
It would be so lonely being the last man on Earth.
I wanna bob for your apples.
Definition of Irony - When the Year Of The Rat starts with a plague.
Hi, I'm a zombie, can I eat you?
Did you know there are 206 bones in the human body? Would you mind one more?
With Corona Virus spreading, I never thought our deaths will also be..
“Made in China”
We are 11 days into self-isolation ands it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks.
Don’t get me wrong, I empathize with her. I’ve considered letting her in many times, but rules are rules.
I like my girls how I like my Covid.
19 and easily spread.
You know why women's eyes are so noticeable these days?
It's the mask era.
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing but this is as close as I could get.
Due to covid most exotic dancers have been furloughed.
Basically, they’ve been stripped of their source of income.
Please stop with all the corona jokes.
I‘m sick of it.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
I’m no vampire but I’m fine with getting no sleep and biting your neck all night.
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
Corona crisis reaches new level:
Iran out of toilet paper.
I know I've never been all that attractive.
But lately every woman I try to approach avoids me like the plague.
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
I would totally carve your pumpkin.
My mom always told me I wouldn't accomplish anything by lying in bed all day.
But look at me now, I'm saving the world.
Woke up with sweats afraid I'd contracted the corona virus...
Changed into jeans and was all good.
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
I just asked the wife to get into her nurse's uniform.
She said "Why? Are you feeling horny?"
"No we need bread!"
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
You should dress up as a baker for Halloween with that set of buns.
What do you get when a raven flies into a group of 18 crows?
Corvid-19.
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer.
Just saw a burglar kicking his own door in.
I asked: “What are you doing?”
“Working from home.”
I want a taste of your Milky Way.
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
My daughter told me COVID stinks and she misses her teacher...
I told her "I Ms. your teacher too."
Listen to them, children of the night. Let’s give them some competition.
Why did the vampire get a COVID test?
Because he was COFFIN.
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
Ok, so if the Corona Virus isn't about beer, why do I keep hearing about cases of it?
Dad jokes are like Corona.
Everybody gets It but not everyone can laugh about It.
While it’s taking a while for the Corona virus to reach other countries, China got it right off the bat.
I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by.
I just didn’t realize it would Zoom.
Me: I'll have a Corona please.
Waiter: *Cough*
Me: Thank you.
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
Why did Princess Leia contract coronavirus?
Because she went to woo Han.
If Corona virus is just a beer virus..
Then it’s just a yeast infection!
Is that a magic wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
Who is running the corona virus relief?
WHO??
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
This Corona virus is a blessing
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.
She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.
she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.
she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.
Best thing that has ever happened to me.
I may be dressed as a vampire tonihgt, but if you play your cards right you might be the one sucking
What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak?
They stay in Quran-tine.
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