I’m no vampire but I’m fine with getting no sleep and biting your neck all night.
Listen to them, children of the night. Let’s give them some competition.
Nice pumpkins!
People with 20-20 vision..
Why you didn't warn us before??
I would totally carve your pumpkin.
My mom always told me I wouldn't accomplish anything by lying in bed all day.
But look at me now, I'm saving the world.
With Corona Virus spreading, I never thought our deaths will also be..
“Made in China”
Girl, are you the Wuhan Corona Virus?
Because you’re taking my breath away.
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing but this is as close as I could get.
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
I really hope corona virus can't spread through s*x
It would be so lonely being the last man on Earth.
Why did the Chinese communist party try to cover up the outbreak of the corona virus disease?
They were afraid not everyone could get it.
Hey Baby, wanna find out why they call me Pumpkin-Head?
I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by.
I just didn’t realize it would Zoom.
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
What's the difference between Wuhan and Las Vegas?
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Woke up with sweats afraid I'd contracted the corona virus...
Changed into jeans and was all good.
Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
I've taken up online yoga since the COVID-19 outbreak started.
It helps me namaste at home.
Definition of Irony - When the Year Of The Rat starts with a plague.
My real costume is at home in a box under my bed.
What's the difference between butter and the corona virus?
Corona actually spreads.
I like my girls how I like my Covid.
19 and easily spread.
As the local drunk, I'm quite worried about the corona virus.
It's got potential tequila lot of people.
I was going to make a joke about losing your senses due to COVID.
But I decided it was poor taste.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
Why don’t we go somewhere where I can stick a candle in your jack-o-lantern?
Hey, Baby do you want to see what tricks my treat could do?
Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies
Guess i have become tasteless.
You know what they say... Big Feet.
I’m throwing a COVID-19 party this weekend.
None of you are invited.
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
Hi, I'm a zombie, can I eat you?
A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says "I'll have a Corona please, hold the virus."
The government announced that because of COVID, we can have gatherings of up to 5 people without issues.
Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without issues?
John Travolta has been diagnosed with the Corona Virus.
He had chills that were multiplying.
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
Is that a magic wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
I just asked the wife to get into her nurse's uniform.
She said "Why? Are you feeling horny?"
"No we need bread!"
People with a cold - "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible."
People with Corona Virus - "I feel terrible, I think I will go skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower and maybe do some white water rafting in Camino de Santiago."
Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
Corona crisis reaches new level:
Iran out of toilet paper.
Tom Hanks just got the Corona virus.
They had to lock the whole Cast Away.
There’s no trick in these pants.
Ok, so if the Corona Virus isn't about beer, why do I keep hearing about cases of it?
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
Did you hear the new pop song about Covid?
...it's pretty catchy.
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