Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
What did the Indian boy say to his parent before going into self isolation?
Mumbai.
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
Did you hear the new pop song about Covid?
...it's pretty catchy.
With Corona Virus spreading, I never thought our deaths will also be..
“Made in China”
I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by.
I just didn’t realize it would Zoom.
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
Girl, you make my crotch rise from the dead
Why are people buying so much toilet paper because of the corona virus?
Because when one person sneezes, 100 people shit themselves.
Is that a magic wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
I know I've never been all that attractive.
But lately every woman I try to approach avoids me like the plague.
I could tell you a COVID joke...
But it would take two weeks for you to get it.
What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak?
They stay in Quran-tine.
Don't worry, the Corona Virus won't last long... It was made in China.
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
People with a cold - "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible."
People with Corona Virus - "I feel terrible, I think I will go skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower and maybe do some white water rafting in Camino de Santiago."
John Travolta has been diagnosed with the Corona Virus.
He had chills that were multiplying.
I was going to make a joke about losing your senses due to COVID.
But I decided it was poor taste.
Dad jokes are like Corona.
Everybody gets It but not everyone can laugh about It.
Due to covid most exotic dancers have been furloughed.
Basically, they’ve been stripped of their source of income.
Why did the vampire get a COVID test?
Because he was COFFIN.
Why did the Chinese communist party try to cover up the outbreak of the corona virus disease?
They were afraid not everyone could get it.
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"
I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
Corona virus is just like pasta.
The Chinese invented it but the Italians will spread it all over the world.
While it’s taking a while for the Corona virus to reach other countries, China got it right off the bat.
I've taken up online yoga since the COVID-19 outbreak started.
It helps me namaste at home.
Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies
Guess i have become tasteless.
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
I would totally carve your pumpkin.
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
You know why women's eyes are so noticeable these days?
It's the mask era.
Corona Beer sales falter amid Corona virus crisis...
Guess their viral marketing strategy failed.
Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
What's the difference between Wuhan and Las Vegas?
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says "I'll have a Corona please, hold the virus."
Hey, Baby do you want to see what tricks my treat could do?
Are you dressed up as a tree? Cause you’re giving me wood.
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer.
I wanna bob for your apples.
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
Just saw a burglar kicking his own door in.
I asked: “What are you doing?”
“Working from home.”
Hey Baby, wanna find out why they call me Pumpkin-Head?
I’m throwing a COVID-19 party this weekend.
None of you are invited.
Me: I'll have a Corona please.
Waiter: *Cough*
Me: Thank you.
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
What's the difference between butter and the corona virus?
Corona actually spreads.
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