I like my girls how I like my Covid.
19 and easily spread.
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
I was going to make a joke about losing your senses due to COVID.
But I decided it was poor taste.
This Corona virus is a blessing
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.
She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.
she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.
she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.
Best thing that has ever happened to me.
What's the difference between butter and the corona virus?
Corona actually spreads.
I could tell you a COVID joke...
But it would take two weeks for you to get it.
People with 20-20 vision..
Why you didn't warn us before??
I want a taste of your Milky Way.
Is that a bat in your pocket, or does my costume excite you?
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
I sneezed in the bank today, it was the most attention I have received in the last 10 years.
I should have dressed up as a ghost tonight so I could let you under my sheets.
As the local drunk, I'm quite worried about the corona virus.
It's got potential tequila lot of people.
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing but this is as close as I could get.
Just saw a burglar kicking his own door in.
I asked: “What are you doing?”
“Working from home.”
We are 11 days into self-isolation ands it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks.
Don’t get me wrong, I empathize with her. I’ve considered letting her in many times, but rules are rules.
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
I am a mean green machine.
With Coronavirus and our impending doom, I guess no one really had 2020 vision after all.
Listen to them, children of the night. Let’s give them some competition.
Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
I may be dressed as a vampire tonihgt, but if you play your cards right you might be the one sucking
I wanna bob for your apples.
I'm using a bra for a face mask.
I like to keep abreast of corona security measures.
What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak?
They stay in Quran-tine.
What does a person with Covid like to drink?
Coughy.
You should dress up as a baker for Halloween with that set of buns.
Why don’t we go somewhere where I can stick a candle in your jack-o-lantern?
With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
Hey, Baby do you want to see what tricks my treat could do?
Please stop with all the corona jokes.
I‘m sick of it.
Definition of Irony - When the Year Of The Rat starts with a plague.
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
Who is running the corona virus relief?
WHO??
Nice pumpkins!
Dad jokes are like Corona.
Everybody gets It but not everyone can laugh about It.
Why are people buying so much toilet paper because of the corona virus?
Because when one person sneezes, 100 people shit themselves.
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
I’m no vampire but I’m fine with getting no sleep and biting your neck all night.
Did you know there are 206 bones in the human body? Would you mind one more?
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer.
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
What did the Indian boy say to his parent before going into self isolation?
Mumbai.
Is that a magic wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
My daughter told me COVID stinks and she misses her teacher...
I told her "I Ms. your teacher too."
With Corona Virus spreading, I never thought our deaths will also be..
“Made in China”
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