Corona crisis reaches new level:
Iran out of toilet paper.
I should have dressed up as a ghost tonight so I could let you under my sheets.
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
Girl, are you the Wuhan Corona Virus?
Because you’re taking my breath away.
I like my girls how I like my Covid.
19 and easily spread.
I may be dressed as a vampire tonihgt, but if you play your cards right you might be the one sucking
With Corona Virus spreading, I never thought our deaths will also be..
“Made in China”
I was going to make a joke about losing your senses due to COVID.
But I decided it was poor taste.
What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak?
They stay in Quran-tine.
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"
I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
The government announced that because of COVID, we can have gatherings of up to 5 people without issues.
Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without issues?
Who is running the corona virus relief?
WHO??
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
I would totally carve your pumpkin.
I really hope corona virus can't spread through s*x
It would be so lonely being the last man on Earth.
I sneezed in the bank today, it was the most attention I have received in the last 10 years.
Me: I'll have a Corona please.
Waiter: *Cough*
Me: Thank you.
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
This Corona virus is a blessing
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.
She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.
she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.
she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.
Best thing that has ever happened to me.
Definition of Irony - When the Year Of The Rat starts with a plague.
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
Tom Hanks just got the Corona virus.
They had to lock the whole Cast Away.
My mom always told me I wouldn't accomplish anything by lying in bed all day.
But look at me now, I'm saving the world.
Corona virus is just like pasta.
The Chinese invented it but the Italians will spread it all over the world.
Why did the vampire get a COVID test?
Because he was COFFIN.
Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies
Guess i have become tasteless.
While it’s taking a while for the Corona virus to reach other countries, China got it right off the bat.
You know what they say... Big Feet.
Girl, you make my crotch rise from the dead
I’m throwing a COVID-19 party this weekend.
None of you are invited.
Please stop with all the corona jokes.
I‘m sick of it.
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
Listen to them, children of the night. Let’s give them some competition.
Dad jokes are like Corona.
Everybody gets It but not everyone can laugh about It.
Are you dressed up as a tree? Cause you’re giving me wood.
There’s no trick in these pants.
What did the Indian boy say to his parent before going into self isolation?
Mumbai.
Just saw a burglar kicking his own door in.
I asked: “What are you doing?”
“Working from home.”
Did you hear the new pop song about Covid?
...it's pretty catchy.
People with a cold - "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible."
People with Corona Virus - "I feel terrible, I think I will go skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower and maybe do some white water rafting in Camino de Santiago."
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
Why did Princess Leia contract coronavirus?
Because she went to woo Han.
Hey, my parents are out of town. That means we have the haunted mansion all to ourselves.
What's the difference between butter and the corona virus?
Corona actually spreads.
I am a mean green machine.
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.
Did you know there are 206 bones in the human body? Would you mind one more?
My daughter told me COVID stinks and she misses her teacher...
I told her "I Ms. your teacher too."
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