"I despise the lottery. There’s less chance of you becoming a millionaire than there is of getting hit by a passing asteroid." ~ Unknown
"They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it." ~ Joseph Addison
“If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it." ~Author Unknown
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.” – IRS auditor
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
"We live by the golden rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~ Unknown
"Don’t stay in bed unless you make money in bed." ~ George Burns
“It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!” — Milton Berle
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single” — Billy Crystal
“If there is a WILL, there are 500 relatives.” – Anonymous
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." ~ Henny Youngman
"Money is like a sixth sense – and you can’t make use of the other five without it." ~ William Somerset Maugham
"Money without brains is always dangerous." ~ Napoleon Hill
“If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys” – James Goldsmith
“There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.” -Spencer Tracy quotes
"Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street." ~ Jay Leno
“Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence." ~Max Amsterdam
“To make a million, start with $900,000.” - Morton Shulman.
"Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. Do you know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." ~ Jerry Seinfeld
“Carpe per diem – seize the check.” – Robin Williams.
“I rob banks because that’s where the money is.” Willie Sutton.
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” —Phyllis Diller
“I owe much; I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor.” - Francois Rebelais
“From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash.” – Sophie Tucker
“They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it.” Joseph Addison.
“Money often costs too much." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." ~Sam Ewing
"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy." ~ Groucho Marx
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
"Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate." ~ Mark Twain
“When I was young I thought money was the most important thing in life; now that I’m old, I know it is." ~ Oscar Wilde
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason
“I’m so naive about finances. Once my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain, ‘That’s like three Mercedes.’ Then I understood.” – Brooke Shields
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson
"Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
“He who marries for love without money has good nights and sorry days.” – Anonymous
“Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.” -Henny Youngman
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” – Earl Wilson
“What’s worth doing is worth doing for money.” –Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“Money is something you have to make in case you don’t die.” Max Asnas.
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” —Franklin P. Adams
"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?" ~ John Barrymore
“Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.” – Anonymous
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy beer." ~ Gary Reilly
“I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself." ~ Ronald Reagan
“Misers are no fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.” —Tom Snyder
“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with." ~From a Washington Post word contest
“Someone asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.” – Gloria Steinem