“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." ~ Henny Youngman
“There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.” -Spencer Tracy quotes
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.” — Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells." ~J. Paul Getty
“It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy
“A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. ~Mark Twain
"Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like." ~ Will Smith
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” –Tony Montana (Al Pacino) Scarface
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." ~Doug Larson
“Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige
“All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy." ~ Spike Milligan
“To make a million, start with $900,000.” - Morton Shulman.
“Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." ~Sam Ewing
“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” Spike Milligan.
“Someone asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.” – Gloria Steinem
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
“Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale." ~Zig Ziglar
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner
“Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.” -Henny Youngman
“Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn’t expect to be paid back." ~Author Unknown
“I’m so naive about finances. Once my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain, ‘That’s like three Mercedes.’ Then I understood.” – Brooke Shields
“What’s worth doing is worth doing for money.” –Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
"They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it." ~ Joseph Addison
“Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.” - Jenny McCarthy
“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with." ~From a Washington Post word contest
“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.” —Addison H. Hallock
"Ah, yes, divorce… A Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet." ~ Robin Williams
“Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.”— Will Rogers
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” —Franklin P. Adams
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard
“He who marries for love without money has good nights and sorry days.” – Anonymous
"Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate." ~ Mark Twain
“Misers are no fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.” —Tom Snyder
“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” ~ Joan Rivers
“If there is a WILL, there are 500 relatives.” – Anonymous
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson
“The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people” – Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) Trading Places
"Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money." ~ Anonymous
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
"The safe way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket." ~ Kin Hubbard
“I finally know what distinguishes man from other beasts: financial worries.” – Jules Renard
“The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters." ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann
“I’m stuck between “I need to save money.” and “You only live once.”” – Anonymous
"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?" ~ John Barrymore
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
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