“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.”-Nick Arnette
"Most people work just hard enough to not get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit." ~ George Carline
“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." ~Aristotle Onassis
“Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige
"Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like." ~ Will Smith
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
“I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself." ~ Ronald Reagan
"Ah, yes, divorce… A Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet." ~ Robin Williams
“My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil.” JP Getty.
"Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
“He who marries for love without money has good nights and sorry days.” – Anonymous
"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn’t be enough to go around." ~ Christina Stead
“There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.” -Spencer Tracy quotes
“Money doesn’t solve all problems but it could solve my money problem.” – Anonymous
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
“The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people” – Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) Trading Places
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence." ~Max Amsterdam
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” — Milton Berle
“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.” —Addison H. Hallock
“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” – Benjamin Franklin
“To make a million, start with $900,000.” - Morton Shulman.
"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due." ~Author Unknown
"We live by the golden rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~ Unknown
“What’s worth doing is worth doing for money.” –Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers
“Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale." ~Zig Ziglar
“I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died” — Malcolm Forbes
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
“They say that love is more important, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?” – Anonymous
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.” —Dorothy Parker
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be” — unknown
“Undermine the entire economic structure of society by leaving the pay toilet door ajar so the next person can get in free.” - Taylor Meade
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
“If you think money doesn’t grow on trees, you ain’t checking every limb.” – Chamillionaire
“A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. ~Mark Twain
“If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.” -JP Getty.
“I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention." ~Ron Kittle
“Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.” - Jenny McCarthy
“All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy." ~ Spike Milligan
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.”- Henry Youngman
"Money doesn’t change you. It reveals who you are when you no longer have to be nice." ~ Tim Ferriss
"I am having an out-of-money experience." ~ Anonymous
“Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.” -Henny Youngman
"Money is like a sixth sense – and you can’t make use of the other five without it." ~ William Somerset Maugham
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." ~ Henny Youngman
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you the kind of misery you prefer." ~Author Unknown