“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
“Money often costs too much.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.” Peter Ustinov.
"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy." ~ Groucho Marx
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
"Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due." ~Author Unknown
“Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn’t expect to be paid back." ~Author Unknown
“The poor have more children, but the rich have more relatives.” – Unknown
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” – Earl Wilson
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” -Jackie Mason
“From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash.” – Sophie Tucker
“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” –Tony Montana (Al Pacino) Scarface
“What’s your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.” – Anonymous
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
“If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys” – James Goldsmith
"If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn’t be enough to go around." ~ Christina Stead
“We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~Buzzie Bavasi
“No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back.” — H. Jackson Brown Jr.
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
“They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it.” Joseph Addison.
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
"Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to go shopping." ~ Bo Derek
“If you think money doesn’t grow on trees, you ain’t checking every limb.” – Chamillionaire
"They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it." ~ Joseph Addison
"I am having an out-of-money experience." ~ Anonymous
“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams
"Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate." ~ Mark Twain
“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.” —Addison H. Hallock
“I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention." ~Ron Kittle
“The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters." ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann
“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy beer." ~ Gary Reilly
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner
"It’s easy to meet expenses, everywhere we go, there they are." ~ Anonymus
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard
"Money is like a sixth sense – and you can’t make use of the other five without it." ~ William Somerset Maugham
“People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." ~Doug Larson
“I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself." ~ Ronald Reagan
"Don’t stay in bed unless you make money in bed." ~ George Burns
“The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste." ~M.W. Harrison
“When a fellow says it ain’t the money but the principle of the thing, it’s the money.” – Artemus Ward
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.” – Carl Fox (Martin Sheen)Wall Street
“Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.” — Steven Wright
“When I was young I thought money was the most important thing in life; now that I’m old, I know it is." ~ Oscar Wilde
“If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one." ~George Gobel
“What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin” –Mark Twain
“Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." ~ Herman Wouk
“Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige
“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt." ~ Herbert Hoover