Deal

What’s the best way to deal with a turkey?

Have it killed and then cran-bury it.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
I just found out that my son got a tattoo of spades, diamonds, hearts, and clubs on his arm.
I might have to deal with him later.
The Genie and the Three Wishes
The Genie and the Three Wishes A man finds a magic lamp. Of course, as the deal goes, he rubs the lamp and out pops a genie that thunders he has 3 wishes to make.. "For my first wish, I want to be some kind of royalty." the man says. The Genie nods. "Yes, yes. That can easily be arranged." "For my second wish, I want to live in luxury, the most beautiful castle." "It will be done", the Genie agrees. "And I want to be married to a beautiful princess." "I understand", says the Genie, "However, your wishes require a lot of work. But it should be done tomorrow." So the man goes to sleep and when he wakes up, he is laying in a beautiful bed. He looks around and everything is just as he wished. He is a noble, living inside a beautiful castle and next to him a beautiful princess smiles at him. "Oh, you're finally awake, Franz-Ferdinand. We should get up, today we're traveling to Sarajevo."
I just found out that my son got a tattoo of spades, diamonds, hearts, and clubs on his arm.
I might have to deal with him later.
Did you hear about the poker player who lost his arm and got a prosthetic replacement?
He’s finding it hard to deal with.
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
An extremely slim model, Miss Slater,
Was attacked by a croc and it ate 'er.
Said her trainer, Tough deal,
What a horrible meal,
We should throw it some greens and potater.
Did you hear about the paddle sale at the boat store? It was quite an oar deal.
What did one python say to the other before they made a deal?
Let’s “snake” on it.
Working the poker table at the casino with my new prosthetic hand is going to be a challenge,
But I’ll learn to deal with it.
Thank you for teaching me about bargaining
It means a great deal.
I honestly cannot deal with puns.
But I can with a deck of cards.
The 16 Year Deal
The 16 Year Deal On a warm summer night, a young lady entered the butcher shop with startling news for the butcher: The baby in her arms was his. Nonplussed, the butcher didn't know what to do, and eventually offered the only thing he thought he could - he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed. He had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager, who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow." "I know," said the butcher with a smile, "I've been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face." When the boy arrived home he told his mother what the butcher said. The woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the expression on his face!"