Gotta Jokes

Girl I just gotta get you. Call it animal instinct.
Roses are red

And you gotta go

Because I found out

That you is a ho.
You really gotta hand it to short people, because they can't reach it on their own.
You have beautiful eyes. Oh, wait, those are your wings. Why you gotta be so scary?
I just gotta say, you and that dog are looking awfully fetching in your photos.
Just found out that my old 3rd grade teacher is now doing time in prison for sexually assaulting a student.
I gotta say, he always rubbed me the wrong way.
The Hillbilly and the Whistles A man who had spent his whole life in the countryside visited a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the railroad tracks, he heard a whistle, but didn't know what it was. Predictably, he's hit and is thrown, ass-over-kettle, to the side of the tracks, with some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises. After weeks in the hospital recovering, he's at his friend's house attending a party. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the kettle whistling. He grabs a baseball bat from the nearby closet and proceeds to batter and bash the kettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees what has happened and asks the hillbilly, "Why'd you ruin my good kettle?" "Man, you gotta kill these things when they're small!"
“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” –Tony Montana (Al Pacino) Scarface
Well… I gotta de-Clara, I think I’ve just fallen in love.
“I gotta warn ya, every man I’ve ever gone out with has been ruined.”
“Well, that’s what they get for messing with my girl.”
- Bugsy (1991)
"We gotta get you out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini."
- Jay Chandrasekhar, Beerfest (2006)
Why did the artist have to go to the bathroom right away? Because when you gotta Van Gogh, you gotta Van Gogh.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!

Dad: This is just making me upsettings!

On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
How is my printer like Spotify?
I gotta pay-per jam.
“If I'm ever being chased by a giraffe I'm gonna run into a place with low ceiling fans. Sorry, giraffe, but I gotta do what's best for me."
- Amber Tozer
Ya gotta check it out. My water bed is full of beer.
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