Gotta

Yo Mama so short she gotta slam-dunk her bus fare.
An atom loses an electron...
It says, "man, I really gotta keep an ion them."
The Hillbilly and the Whistles
The Hillbilly and the Whistles A man who had spent his whole life in the countryside visited a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the railroad tracks, he heard a whistle, but didn't know what it was. Predictably, he's hit and is thrown, ass-over-kettle, to the side of the tracks, with some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises. After weeks in the hospital recovering, he's at his friend's house attending a party. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the kettle whistling. He grabs a baseball bat from the nearby closet and proceeds to batter and bash the kettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees what has happened and asks the hillbilly, "Why'd you ruin my good kettle?" "Man, you gotta kill these things when they're small!"
Just found out that my old 3rd grade teacher is now doing time in prison for sexually assaulting a student.
I gotta say, he always rubbed me the wrong way.
A woman says to the dentist "I don't know which is worse having a tooth pulled or having a Baby."
The dentist says "Well make up your mind I gotta adjust the chair!"
What do you do with a sick chemist? You try to helium, and then you try to curium, but if all else fails, you gotta barium.
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
You really gotta hand it to short people, because they can't reach it on their own.
Teaching babies to walk is hard, but you just have take it one step at a time.
Putting on contacts without a mirror is hard
You just gotta eyeball it.