I'm currently dating a famous soccer player. He's so loving and caring towards me. He's a keeper.
During holidays, soccer referees send their families yellow cards.
The best place on earth to shop for soccer kits is New Jersey.
Birds too love cheering on their soccer teams. They egg them on.
You can’t possibly play soccer in the amazon jungle because there are far too many cheetahs.
The favorite soccer position for ghosts is the ghoul keeper.
Which is the bar downtown that soccer players hate striking on? Crossbar.
When the pitch is flooded, soccer players can still go on. They just need to bring on their subs.
There are many grounds religious children can practice their soccer skills. However, most of them love the prayground.
There is one commonality between a magician and a soccer player. They both do hat tricks.
His Life's Regret
A famous professor of surgery died and went to heaven.
At the pearly gates he was asked by the gatekeeper: "Have you ever committed a sin you truly regret?"
"Yes," the professor answered sadly. "When I was a young candidate at the Hospital of Saint Lucas, we played soccer against a team from the Community Hospital, and I scored a goal, which was off-side. But the referee did not see it, and the goal won us the match and the tournament. I regret that now."
"Well," said the gatekeeper. "That is a very minor sin. You may enter."
"Thank you very much, Saint Peter," the professor answered.
"You're welcome, but I am not Saint Peter," said the gatekeeper. "He is having his lunch break. I am Saint Lucas."
What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag A tea bag stays longer in the cup.
The British, the Camel and the Meal
Three English men were walking through a desert. They were tired and thirsty but most of all hungry.
Soon, they came across a nomad with about two camels, one alive and one very much dead.
The nomad said "Hey there, you guys look hungry"
The three men all nodded.
"I tell you what, I was about to start eating this camel. I'll share it with you"
The three men soon started arguing about who gets what when one of them chimes in with a "Alright guys, how about this? Whatever football team we support dictates what part of the camel we can have."
So he goes "Well, I support Liverpool."
So he got the liver
"I support Hartlepool." said the second man.
So he got the heart.
The last guy said "I support Arsenal but I'm not hungry."