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Say

What does the sign on the brothel say when it’s closed?
Beat it, we're clothed.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
What did the Indian boy say to his parent before going into self isolation?
Mumbai.
What did one python say to the other before they made a deal?
Let’s “snake” on it.
Husband: "These pears a perfect right now."
Me: "Would you say they're 'pear-fect'?"
What did the pear say to the other pear when they just got together?
It’s good to be a pair.
What did the dolphin detective say to his partner?
Something smells fishy!
What did the dolphin say to its friend who wouldn’t stop lying?
Stop spouting nonsense!
What did the lollipop lady say to the zebra crossing?
'You're stripping me of a job.'
Can You Say Daddy?
Can You Say Daddy? Baby: "Mommy." Dad: "No. Say daddy." Baby: "Mommy." Dad: "Crap! Say daddy!" Baby: "Crap!" Dad: "What did you say?" Baby: "Crap!" Mom: "I'm home!" Baby: "Crap!" Mom: "What? Where did you hear that?" Baby: "Daddy."
Some say that puns aren't very funny, while others take them very seriously...
I guess the one thing we can all agree on is that puns are no joke.
What did the annoyed peach say to the mango?
Man-go away!
What did the snail say to the other who had hit him and run off? I'll get you next slime!
What did the snail say as he slipped down the wall? How slime flies!
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
Beat it. We're closed.