One mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, "Momma, why is my name Rose?" The mommy cow replies, "Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born." The next calf comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?" The mother replies, "Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born." The third baby comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Daisy?" The momma cow again replieds" Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head." The final baby walks over and says, "Duh huh guh nuh!" The momma cow says, "Shut up, Cinderblock."
My bullies broke my MP3-Player at school. Luckily, my parents bought me an MP4 for my birthday, but these idiots destroyed it again. Tomorrow, Ill bring my MP5.
One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt. The doctor asked her what had happened. She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I picked up the iron instead of the phone by mistake. "Well that explains one ear, but what about the other?" "The bastard called again."
Man in a cinema watching a cowboy film. A stagecoach pulls up, man 1 turns to his neighbour and says "I bet you a tenner that the first cowboy bangs his head on the doorframe." Man 2 accepts the bet. The first guy out banged his head so man 2 pays up.
Man 1 feels guilty and gives back the tenner, says "I'm sorry, I saw this film last week, it made me feel bad taking your money."
Man 2 says "So did I, but I didn't think he'd be daft enough to do it again."