"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." — Unknown
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." —Alexander the Great
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Tomlin
“The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you are not in shape for it, its too far to walk back.”
Andy Rooney
"If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." —Mickey Mantle
"Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?" —George Carlin
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
"Take the admission to the gym to avoid the admission to the hospital."
- Amit Kalantri
"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity." - Edgar Allen Poe
“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.” —Redd Fox
"My inner advisor is dying to heal me." - Astrid Alauda
"Fitness: If it came in a bottle, everyone would have a great body."
- Cher.
“Never eat more than you can lift.”
Miss Piggy
“All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.” —Alexander Woollcott
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate!"
- Unknown.
"I only workout, because I really really like donuts."
- Unknown
"I go to the gym three days a week. You have to or else - I don't want to be the guy that dies shoveling snow."
- Douglas Coupland
"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer." - Clement Freud
“I tried every diet that was in the book, I tried some that weren’t in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.”
Dolly Parton
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
"I will never break up with my gym. We just seem to workout."
- Unknown.
"My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass." - Leslie Grimutter
"A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends." - Kin Hubbard
"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind." - G.K. Chesterton
"Older people shouldn't eat health food. They need all the preservatives they can get." —Robert Orben
"The word aerobics came about when the gym instructors got together and said, 'If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it jumping up and down'" - Rita Rudner
"Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them." - Martin H. Fischer
“I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.”- Erik Satie
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"Let's have a moment of silence for all those Americans who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride the stationary bicycle."
- Earl Blumenauer.
"A hospital is no place to be sick." —Samuel Goldwyn
"The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back"- Franklin P. Jones
"You ever look for the remote control, but you can't find it, so you just decide, 'Ah, guess I'm not watching TV. I'm not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I'll go to the gym if I'm going to work out.'"
- Jim Gaffigan.
"I don't get why people pay to exercise in a gym when it's free to not exercise."
- Bridger Winegar
"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing." —Redd Foxx
“It’s bizarre that the [grocery store] produce manager is more important to my children’s health than the pediatrician.”
Unknown
"I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. he other two are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves"
"Health is merely the slowest way someone can die."
"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigeratir are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all"- Joey Adams
"I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training ."
- Immortal Souls.
"Warning... I'm exercising, eating right and watching my alcohol intake... which means I'm sober, I'm cranky and I'm sore, so proceed with caution!"
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
"Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you!" - Tommy Smothers
“Anywhere is walking distance if you have got the time.”
Steven Wright
“Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches.”
Unknown
“Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge.”
Tom Waits
"Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory"- Albert Schweitzer
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