“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” —Mark Twain
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."- Steven Write
"Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches." - V.L. Allineare
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Tomlin
"I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training ."
- Immortal Souls.
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon." - Doug Larson
"Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you!" - Tommy Smothers
"If the poor overweight jogger only knew how far he had to run to work off the calories in a crust of bread he might find it better in terms of pound per mile to go to a massage parlor."
- Christiaan Barnard
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." - Rodney Dangerfield
"Health is merely the slowest way someone can die."
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number ou get in a diamond"- Mae West
"If your doctor's last name is Google, it's time to get a second opinion…" - Toni Bernhard, J.D.
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
"The word aerobics came about when the gym instructors got together and said, 'If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it jumping up and down'" - Rita Rudner
"I go to the gym three days a week. You have to or else - I don't want to be the guy that dies shoveling snow."
- Douglas Coupland
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." —Erma Bombeck
"We pay our gym membership for the permission to exercise in the gym, not for the owner(s) of the gym to exercise for us."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana.
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook"- Julia Child
“It’s bizarre that the [grocery store] produce manager is more important to my children’s health than the pediatrician.”
Unknown
“I don’t deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn’t deserve that, either. So I’ll keep it.”
Don Kardong.
"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind." - G.K. Chesterton
"Many so-called spiritual people, they overeat, drink too much, they smoke and don't exercise. But they do go to church every week and pray 'Please help my arthritis. Please help me bring up my strength, make me young again.'"
- Jack LaLanne
"I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."
- Marsha Doble
"My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass." - Leslie Grimutter
"Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge"- Don Kardong
“Excercise? I thought you said extra fries.”
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
“Anorexia is a disease not a fashion statement.”
Brooke
"Warning... I'm exercising, eating right and watching my alcohol intake... which means I'm sober, I'm cranky and I'm sore, so proceed with caution!"
"Men scream and go crazy in the gym. I'm a silent workout partner, but when my adrenaline gets up, I talk trash."
- Fergie
“All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.” —Alexander Woollcott
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." —Mark Twain
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." —Alexander the Great
"Fitness: If it came in a bottle, everyone would have a great body."
- Cher.
"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night." —Dave Barry
"Some people would fall in or out of love with you if you lose or gain a few kilos."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it takes nine visits." - Author unknown
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with ass****s." - William Gibson
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." — Unknown
"My inner advisor is dying to heal me." - Astrid Alauda
"I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures." - Robert Benchley
“The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you are not in shape for it, its too far to walk back.”
Andy Rooney
"When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away."
- Robert M. Hutchins.
"Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?" —George Carlin
“Anywhere is walking distance if you have got the time.”
Steven Wright
"To lose weight, spend time at the gym. To appear like you've lost weight, spend time with people who are bigger than you."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
“I tried every diet that was in the book, I tried some that weren’t in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.”
Dolly Parton
“Eating words has never given me indigestion.”
Unknown
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