"Let's have a moment of silence for all those Americans who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride the stationary bicycle."
- Earl Blumenauer.
"A hospital is no place to be sick." —Samuel Goldwyn
"When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away."
- Robert M. Hutchins.
"Many so-called spiritual people, they overeat, drink too much, they smoke and don't exercise. But they do go to church every week and pray 'Please help my arthritis. Please help me bring up my strength, make me young again.'"
- Jack LaLanne
“I have removed all the bad food from my house, it was delicious.”
"I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. he other two are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves"
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with ass****s." - William Gibson
"I only workout, because I really really like donuts."
- Unknown
"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing." —Redd Foxx
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
“Anywhere is walking distance if you have got the time.”
Steven Wright
"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it takes nine visits." - Author unknown
"If the poor overweight jogger only knew how far he had to run to work off the calories in a crust of bread he might find it better in terms of pound per mile to go to a massage parlor."
- Christiaan Barnard
“Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge.”
Tom Waits
"Health is merely the slowest way someone can die."
"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigeratir are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all"- Joey Adams
"Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate!"
- Unknown.
"Men scream and go crazy in the gym. I'm a silent workout partner, but when my adrenaline gets up, I talk trash."
- Fergie
"Fitness: If it came in a bottle, everyone would have a great body."
- Cher.
“I have to excercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."- Marsha Doble.
"My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass." - Leslie Grimutter
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." — Unknown
"I can sympathize with people's pains but not with their pleasures. There is something curiously boring about somebody else's happiness." - Aldous Huxley
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
"There's lots of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it." - Josh Billings
"If you're using two-pound weights, how did you even open the door to the gym?"
- Dave Attell
"Warning... I'm exercising, eating right and watching my alcohol intake... which means I'm sober, I'm cranky and I'm sore, so proceed with caution!"
"How sickness enlarges the dimension of a man's self to himself!"- Charles Lamb
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.” —Redd Fox
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." - Rodney Dangerfield
"To lose weight, spend time at the gym. To appear like you've lost weight, spend time with people who are bigger than you."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends." - Kin Hubbard
“All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.” —Alexander Woollcott
"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor"- Joan Rivers
"Eating words has never given me indigestion." —Winston Churchill
“The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you are not in shape for it, its too far to walk back.”
Andy Rooney
"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined." - Samuel Goldwyn
"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind." - G.K. Chesterton
"Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them." - Martin H. Fischer
“It’s a bit unnerving That doctors call what they do practice.”
Unknown
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." —Erma Bombeck
“I am convinced digestion is the great secret to life.”
Sydney Smith
"Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane." - Philip K. Dick
"I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures." - Robert Benchley
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss
"I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises."
- Neil Armstrong.
“Half the modern could drugs well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them.”
Unknown
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