"Love is grand. Divorce is a hundred grand." - Unknown
"I love you in a way that's nauseating to others."
- Unknown
"You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories." — Melanie Clark
"Love is being stupid together." - Paul Valery
"There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and flattens the stomach." — Barbara Hower
"I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks." — Steve Martin
“I love you and I treasure you and ya bore me.” - Amy Santiago, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'
"My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light." — Rodney Dangerfield
"If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books." — Alan King
"My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes." — Emo Philips
"I love you more than coffee but not always before coffee." - Unknown
"I can't make you love me, but I can fill my pantry with your favorite snacks and offer you a weekly stipend of $75." — Rob Delaney
"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love." — Albert Einstein
"You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it." - Henny Youngman
"Love thy neighbor—and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier." - Mae West
"Between men and women, there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship."
- Oscar Wilde
“I was like, 'Am I gay? Am I straight?' And I realized... I'm just slutty. Where's my parade?” — Margaret Cho
"Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener."
- Pauline Thomason
“The secret to a long marriage is to stay gone.” - Dolly Parton
"I went home with this French guy ’cause he said something adorable, like, ‘I have an apartment.’" — Amy Schumer
"Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties." — Jules Renard
"They say true love hides in every corner. I must be walking in circles." - Unknown
"Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache."
- Mae West
"Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn't show up on X rays, but you know it's there." George Burns
“A lady’s imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.” - Jane Austen, 'Pride and Prejudice'
"Between lovers, a little confession is a dangerous thing." — Helen Rowland
"If she happens to fall, I’ll be there to laugh at first and then help her up afterwards." — J.A. Redmerski
"He was happily married - but his wife wasn't."
- Victor Borge
"The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby."
- Natalie Wood.
“I say if you love something, set it in a small cage and pester and smother it with love until it either loves you back or dies.” — Mindy Kaling
"Women love a self-confident bald man."
- Larry David.
“Surely Sylvia swims!” shrieked Sammy surprised. “Someone should show Sylvia some strokes so she shall not sink.”
"Alcohol may be man's worst enemy but the Bible says to love your enemy."
- Frank Sinatra
"A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished."
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
"Marriage is like pantyhose. It all depends on what you put into it." — Phyllis Schlafly
"Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position." — Christopher Marlowe
"I asked my dad once, ‘How did you and Mum stay married for 33 years?’ And he said, ‘Well, we never wanted to get divorced at the same time.'"
- Gwyneth Paltrow
"I went out with a guy once who told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, 'I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.'"
- Chelsea Handler
"True love is singing karaoke 'Under Pressure' and letting the other person sing the Freddie Mercury part." Mindy Kaling
“I just want to be friends. Plus a little extra. Also, I love you.” - Dwight Schrute, 'The Office'
"Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke." - Lynda Barry
"As a man in a relationship, you have a choice: you can be right or you can be happy."
- Ralphie May
"Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell."
- Joan Crawford
"Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest."
- Professor Irwin Corey
“Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women; a little bit of support and a little bit of freedom.” - Jerry Seinfeld
"Oh, here's an idea: Let's make pictures of our internal organs and give them to other people we love on Valentine's Day. That's not weird at all." - Jimmy Fallon
"You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you’re married to a couch that burps." - Roseanne Barr
"Love is a lot like a toothache. It doesn't show up on X-rays, but you know it's there."
- George Burns.
"I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough." — Russell Brand
"My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning."
- Ray Romano
Go to BabaMail
