Ear Puns

Welcome to our Ear Puns, I'm sure you've heard all about it...

After making love the other night, I told my spouse that I love when the whisper sweet things in my ear...
So my spouse leaned in close and whispered..."Syrup."
Thankfully evolution gave us ears a million years ago...
Now we finally get to use them to wear masks.
I got sick when I lost one of my ear buds.
It was mono.
What do you call someone with fruit in one ear and whipped cream in the other?
A trifle deaf.
My father in law has had an ear infection for three weeks.
I had to double check that, it didn't sound right.
George Michael once damaged his ears while cleaning them...
Careless Swissper.
My doctor says I should get my ears cleaned every 12 months.
I think he means ear-ly.
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced?
It's a buccaneer
Condoms are like ear muffs.
They prevent a lot of noise.
What do you call Bears without ears
B.
I can't hear out of my ear...
It's really EAR-itating.
A man goes to the doctors and says " Doc, I'm having problems with my ears, I think I'm going deaf".
The Doc says " Can you tell me the symptoms?"

The man replies, " Well, Homer's the big fat bloke, and Marge has blue hair!"
What do you call a giant gorilla with pean u t butter in one ear and Jam in the other?
Anything you want, he's not going to hear you!
My wife just now: Do men's ears actually work or are they just for decoration?
Me: 'What?'
One ear of corn says to the other, “I think I have a stalker.”
The other corn replies, “Thats amaizing! Is he cute?” The ear replies, “No, too husky!”
I don’t understand why ear biting is a fetish
Almost everyone eats corn.
A captain was barking at his crew. "What do you think is between yer ears!?"
"Eye Eye, Captain!"
I stumbled into a room where everyone's ears were missing.
I know it sounds EARy, but it wasn't.
A doctor walked into an exam room to see a patient with carrots sticking out his ears and broccoli up his nose.
The doctor said: “I can tell right away that you haven't been eating properly."
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
The other day someone made fun of my ears for hanging down too far.
Lobe low, dude.
I've never seen the inside of my ears...

But I've heard good things.
What do you call a gray animal with big ears and a large trunk?
A traveling mouse.
What did the ear of corn say when all of its clothes fell off?
Awe shucks!
My mate had an accident and lost his ear. The doctors were able to graft on a new one made of pig skin.
His hearing is now quite fine, but every now and then he gets some crackling.
What do you call friends with airpods in their ears
Earbuds.
Why can’t your ear be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
Why did the kid put the dinky car in his ear?
Because he wanted to give it a wax job.
Me and my ears hate badminton so much
It's making a racket.
Why was the man who hung tennis equipment from his ears arrested?
He was found guilty of racket-ear-ring
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