Teaching Jokes

While teaching about the Mongol Empire in History class, our teacher told us, "If anyone Khan, Genghis Khan."
Thank you for teaching me about bargaining
It means a great deal.
My friend wasn't accepted for a teaching job because he was cross-eyed
They thought he wouldn't be able to control his pupils.
Teaching babies to walk is hard, but you just have take it one step at a time.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class wank him off. I said “son, that’s three schools this year...
...maybe teaching isn’t for you.”
Teaching a Tribe New Words A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to farm and build things to be self-sufficient gets word that he is to return home. He realizes that the one thing he never taught the natives was how to speak English, so he takes the chief and starts walking in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree." The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree." The missionary is pleased with the response. They walk a little farther and the padre points to a rock and says, "This is a rock." Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock." The padre is really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As he peeks over the top, he sees a couple in the midst of heavy sexual activity. The padre is really flustered and quickly responds, "Riding a bike." The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blow gun and kills them. The padre goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and kind to each other, so how could he just kill these people in cold blood that way? "My bike."
What did the father say whilst teaching his kid to tie his shoelaces?
Knot bad
I peed my pants every time I stood in front of my first-grade class to talk.
That's how I lost my teaching license.
Why did Sean Connery adopt a cat?
Because teaching his dog to sit proved too messy.
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What did the teaching tree do when it went overseas? It took a leaf of absence!
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
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