Sound

There was a weird Crab
Whenever he used to walk, his claws used to make a ta-ta-ta-ta sound.
Dividing Dad's Buildings
Dividing Dad's Buildings A very sick man is lying in bed. He realizes he doesn't have much time left, so he asks his nurse to bring his wife, daughter, and both sons to him, as well as witnesses and a camera to record his last wishes. When all are assembled, their eyes misty and their faces drawn, he begins to speak. "My son, Sam, I want you to take the Ocean Reef houses." "My daughter Sybil, you take the apartments between mile markers 100 and Tavernier." "My son, Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the Marathon Government Center." "Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the bayside on Blackwater Sound. The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realize his extensive holdings, and as Doug slips away, the nurse says: "Mrs. Smith, your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all this property." The wife just grunts. "The a**hole has a paper route".
What sound do 8 sheep make?
Octo-bah.
There was a young dentist who thrilled,
To the sound of a tooth being filled.
He would practise, they said,
Every night in his shed,
With the old drill he's skilled.
One Saturday morning at three,
A cheese monger's shop in Paree.
Collapsed to the ground,
With a thunderous sound,
Leaving only a pile of de brie.
There once was a koala who could run at a speed of more than 800 miles per hour. He was the first koala to break the sound bearier.
The Physics Oral Exam
The Physics Oral Exam The Physics professor decided to test the new students with a simple question: "What is faster, light or sound?" "Well obviously light." "Alright, why?" "Well, when I turn on my TV, I first see the picture and then comes the sound" The professor sighs and gives a you're-an-idiot look. He moves to the next student asks the same question. "What is faster, light or sound?" "Well obviously it is sound." "Uhhh what?? Why do you think this?" "Well when I turn on my TV, I first hear it and then comes the picture." Extremely annoyed the professor is now a bit pissed off. He believes that maybe the question is too hard for these pea brains and tries to vary it. The next student he asks "You are on the foot of a mountain. On the summit there is a cannon being fired. Do you first see the light of the fire or do you first hear the sound?" "Obviously you first see the light." Slightly hopeful the professor says "YES and why is that?" "Well the eyes are obviously further ahead than the ears."
The sound of my bones really cracks me up.
What sound did the gun make when the priest shot through two benches to kill a mass shooter?
PEW PEW
This might sound corny, but I think you’re a-maize-ing.
What sound does a space turkey make? "Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!"
What sound does a turkey's phone make? Wing! Wing!
What sound does a space turkey make? Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!
The last thing my grandfather said before he died was “It’s worth it to spend money on good speakers.”
That was some sound advice.
If pronouncing b’s as v’s makes me sound Russian...
Then Soviet
How do bats greet a friend?
With a sound wave.
What sound does a llama’s doorbell make?
Llama llama ding dong.