Special

Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
What's so special about twitter alphabet soup? It only has 140 letters.
Mandy: Our teacher went on a special banana diet. Andy: Did she lose weight? Mandy: No, but she sure could climb trees well!
3 Men in Heaven
3 Men in Heaven The Day of Judgment came, and all the people in the world who were worthy reached heaven, where the heavenly angels divided them into men and women. The angel Gabriel was revealed before all the men and ordered them to stand in two rows; One would be all the men who had retained their strength in the relationship, and the other - men who had surrendered to their wives. Meanwhile, the women were taken elsewhere, apparently to pass their own test... Of course, as soon as the women disappeared, most of the men immediately made their way to the first row of men who stood their ground, did not give in and wore the “pants” in the house. But under the scrutiny and judgment of the angels, they slowly began to wander to the second line of the submissive men. So it went on for a long time until finally there were only three men left in the first row, while the second row lengthened and extended beyond the horizon. Gabriel looked at this scene with a very disappointed look and turned to all the men: "You should be ashamed of yourself, you were created in the image of the Creator, and the woman was created from your bones, but you have allowed yourself to let her rule over you, only these three men are exceptional and I am sure they can teach you a thing or two." “Hey you,” he said to one of the three men, "How do you describe your relationships? How do you feel knowing you are one of the most special men in the world?" "The truth?" answered the man, "I was lonely or stuck in unhappy relationships all my life, and now that we are here, my greatest regret is that I did not treat women better." The surprised angel did not lose his enthusiasm and hurried to ask the other man how he described his relationships in life. "All my life I've gone from relationship to relationship, I've never found love and I've always wanted to change my ways and treat women better, now I can never do that ..." he said and burst into tears. The confused angel hurried to the third man. "Please tell me, you seem quite satisfied and relaxed, what’s your secret, how did you manage to be the only man in the world who controls his relationship, that stands his ground, doesn’t give in to women, and still looks so sure of himself?" "I'm sorry but I don’t have an answer for you," said the third man. "I'm just standing here because my wife told me to wait here and not move until she comes back ..."
Are you a needle? Because you are sew special to me.
"I wish I could say you were the most special person in the world, but you're not."
Our school trip was a special occasion.
But we never reacher our destination.
Instead of the zoo.
I was locked in the loo.
of the toilet at the service station!
You’re more special than relativity.
A cowboy walks into a bar and sits next to a beautiful woman
He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

"No", he replies, "I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"

The cowboy explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."

The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"

"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."

The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!"

The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and says, "Darn thing's an hour fast."
Why is your foot more special than your other body parts? Because they have their own soul. What is heavy forward but not backward? Ton.
"Have an eggs-tra special Easter day."
Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion?
What did one skeleton wrestler say to the other?
You better watch out for my special move. It will verta-break your back!
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution.
Sign Up for a Free Daily Joke!