Books

Zebras aren’t fans of colouring books. They don’t like having to stay between the lions.
Life Really Does Happen In Numbers
Life Really Does Happen In Numbers Four men were discussing coincidences at a bar. The first man said: "My wife was reading a Tale of Two Cities and she gave birth to twins." "That’s funny", the second man remarked. "My wife was reading The Three Musketeers and she gave birth to triplets" “My goodness,” the third man chimed in. “The same happened to me. My wife had quintuplets after reading The Five People You Meet in Heaven.” The fourth man shouted, now looking quite ill, "Good God, I have to rush home!" When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, "When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves!!"
A man walks up to a librarian and asks, "Do you have any books on Pavlov's dogs and Schrödinger's cat?" The librarian responds, "It rings a bell but I'm not sure if it's here or not."
A pile of books fall onto Sean Connery's head
He exclaims: "I only have my shelf to blame!"
Blonde vs. Librarian
Blonde vs. Librarian A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and, screaming, said, “I have a complaint!” “How can i help you?” said the librarian looking up at her. “I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!” Puzzled by her complaint, the librarian asked: “What was wrong with it?” “It had way too many characters and there was no plot!” said the blonde. The librarian nodded and said, “Ahhh. So YOU must be the person who took our phone book."
What kind of books do owls read?
Hoo-dunnits.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
Books are my kind of texts.
I like big books and I cannot lie.
The high school music teacher was controversial for having his students read band books.
When I think about books, I touch my shelf.
What Kind of Books do Rabbits Read? Ones with Hoppy Endings.
How many books can you put in an empty backpack? One! After that its not empty!
Books on helium are so hard to put down.
Coming to Theaters: The thrilling tale of a man who cooked biographical books like turkey on Thanksgiving.

*Baste on a True Story...*