Sleep

I made myself a snowball
As perfect as could be.
I thought I'd keep it as a pet
And let it sleep with me.
I made it some pajamas
And a pillow for its head.
Then last night it ran away,
But first it wet the bed.
Doggie Nap Time
Doggie Nap Time An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of. He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head. He then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks. Curious I pinned a note to his collar: 'I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.' The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: 'He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 - he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Please, may I come with him tomorrow?'
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
Why don’t bats sleep like the rest of us?
They can't get the hang of it.
Why don't you want to sleep in the sheep pen?
It would be total bedlam!!
The Balloon Family
The Balloon Family There once lived a family of balloons, there was: A mommy balloon, a daddy balloon and a kid balloon. Each night the kid balloon would get nightmares and go into the parents bed when they were asleep. The daddy balloon constantly told the kid balloon not to do this as it was disrupting his sleep schedule. But as the kid got older and older he began not to fit. So one night he released some air from mommy balloon. Then the next night: he released air from the daddy balloon. On the 3rd night he couldn't fit no matter how hard he tried, so he decided to release some air out of himself. The next morning the father woke up enraged as he was still shattered from a sleepless night. He goes: 'Son, you've went to far... you've let me down, you've let your mom down, but most importantly son... you've let yourself down."
You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.
You know you’re getting old when…
You and your teeth don’t sleep together.
If I buy you guacamole, will you sleep with me?
You must think I’m some kind of avocad-ho.
He was going to sleep in a bucket of ice.
But then he got cold feet.
Where do fish sleep? In a river bed
The Angry Woman and the Walmart Greeter
The Angry Woman and the Walmart Greeter An angry woman with two kids enters Walmart, shouting angrily at the children and at anyone who crosses her path. The greeter at the reception says cheerfully to her: "Good morning and welcome to Walmart." "Shut the F up." Grunts the woman. Unperturbed, he says: "Cute kids! Are they twins?" The horrible woman stopped shouting just enough to say, "Hell, they’re not twins! The older is 9 and the other is 7! Are you blind or just stupid?" "Neither. It's just hard to believe someone slept with you twice."
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
How do you get a baby alien to sleep?
Rocket.
The Cat Poem
The Cat Poem Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray this cushy life to keep. I pray for toys that look like mice, and sofa cushions, soft and nice. I pray for gourmet kitty snacks, and someone nice to scratch my back, for windowsills all warm and bright, for shadows to explore at night. I pray I'll always stay cool, and keep the secret feline rule, To never tell a human that the world is really ruled by cats!
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
A Pig With Nightmares
A Pig With Nightmares A pig goes to a doctor and says: "Doctor, I’ve been having these terrible nightmares and I can’t sleep. Can you prescribe me some sleeping pills?" Doctor: "Can you describe your nightmares to me?" Pig: "They are all almost the same. First a man lures me with food, kills me and cuts me into pieces. Then he rubs salt all over my flesh!” Doctor: "I wouldn't worry about it, looks like you’re going to be cured soon."
Where does a baby monkey sleep?
In an apricot.
I've been trying to sleep with one eye open lately, but it's really hard
Last night I couldn't sleep a wink