For you men who think a woman's place is in the kitchen, remember... that's where the knives are kept.
When will a guy ignore even the hottest girl? Right after he "comes" inside. Why do little boys whine? Because they're practicing to be men.
Why do men get their great ideas in bed? Because their plugged into a genius!
Why do men name their penises? Because they don't like the idea of having a stranger make 90 percent of their decisions.
Why do men have a hole in their penis? So their brains can get some oxygen now and then.
How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys an extra case of beer. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The man. Why did God give men penises? So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.
Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners? So men can understand them. Why did God create man before woman? Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.
Why does a penis have a hole in the end? So men can be open minded.
What do men and pantyhose have in common? They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the crotch!
What do men and mascara have in common? They both run at the first sign of emotion.
Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet? Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue
Why do men prefer blondes? Because they like intellectual companionship.
What's the difference between men and government bonds? Bonds mature.