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Tv

After I won the game I decide to throw the ball into the crowd like they do on TV.
Apparently that's unacceptable in bowling.
Yo momma so fat she walked in front of the TV and I missed the whole Titanic movie.
What's a baby gherkin's favorite TV channel?
Pickleodeon.
The last time I wanted to go bowling, all the pins were on strike. So I just stayed at home and watched TV instead.
What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
What do ducks watch on TV?
Duck-umentaries.
Your brain's so minute that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn't be enough to cover a small water biscuit.

(From tv show Blackadder)
The Physics Oral Exam
The Physics Oral Exam The Physics professor decided to test the new students with a simple question: "What is faster, light or sound?" "Well obviously light." "Alright, why?" "Well, when I turn on my TV, I first see the picture and then comes the sound" The professor sighs and gives a you're-an-idiot look. He moves to the next student asks the same question. "What is faster, light or sound?" "Well obviously it is sound." "Uhhh what?? Why do you think this?" "Well when I turn on my TV, I first hear it and then comes the picture." Extremely annoyed the professor is now a bit pissed off. He believes that maybe the question is too hard for these pea brains and tries to vary it. The next student he asks "You are on the foot of a mountain. On the summit there is a cannon being fired. Do you first see the light of the fire or do you first hear the sound?" "Obviously you first see the light." Slightly hopeful the professor says "YES and why is that?" "Well the eyes are obviously further ahead than the ears."
Too Hot For TV
Too Hot For TV Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Se*?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d move U.
Because you’re blocking the TV.
The Spying Hotel
The Spying Hotel A man and his girlfriend check into a hotel. “I don’t know why, but I’m afraid that this room might be bugged with hearing devices.” the girlfriend tells her boyfriend. "I read online that some hotels do that!" “That’s crazy, there’s nothing to be worried about.” the man replies. The girl insists, so he starts to search the room. He looks in all of the drawers, under the TV, and behind the curtains. When he pulls the rug up, to his utter disbelief, he finds a suspicious looking disc. “Wow, you might be right!” the man says as he unscrews the disc from the floor. The next morning, they head to the front desk to check out of their room. “You guys must’ve had a good time last night” the clerk says laughing. Angry and confused, the man asks “AND HOW WOULD YOU KNOW THAT?!” The clerk replies “Well, on the floor below you, the entire chandelier came down.”
Expand your mind. Get
To work. Better yet, put your
Feet up. Watch TV.
Yo Mama so stupid when I asked her to buy a color TV, she said, "What color?"
Yo Mama so stupid she sat on the TV and watched the couch.
Yo Momma so stupid when someone stole her TV, she ran after them shouting, "You forgot the remote".
Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.