"I’m so old that my blood type is discontinued." - Bill Dane
"You know you’re getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead." - John Mendoza
"I’m 59 and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know?"- Barry Cryer
"Nobody expects to trust his body much after the age of fifty." - Alexander Hamilton
"The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for." - Will Rogers
"In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn’t have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order." - Robert Brault
"Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese." – Billie Burke
"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened." - Jennifer Yane
"We don’t grow older, we grow riper." - Pablo Picasso
"I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you." – Andy Ronney
"I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past." - Robert Brault
"There is still no cure for the common birthday." - John Glenn
"The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. - Mark Twain
"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do." - Phyllis Diller
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it." - Golda Meir
"To get back to my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable." - Oscar Wilde
"People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit." - George Burns
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell
"Looking fifty is great—if you’re sixty." - Joan Rivers
"The idea is to die young as late as possible." - Ashley Montagu
"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie
"I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to." - Albert Einstein
“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” – Maurice Chevalier
"The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down." - T.S. Elliot
"Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere." – George Burns
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all things that make you want to live to be a hundred." - Woody Allen
"Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years." - Oscar Wilde
“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” —George Burns
"You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks." - Joel Plaskett
“Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.” - Maggie Kuhn
"Everything slows down with age, except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips." - John Wagner
"At my age ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for." - Unknown
"I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet." - Rita Rudner
"Old age comes at a bad time." – San Banducci
"Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380 pounds, and tell the truth." - Conan O’Brien
"As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer." - Robert Quillen"
“The older I get, the better I used to be.” – Lee Trevino
"You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake." – Bob Hope
"Old age is always fifteen years older than I am." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
"I’m like old wine. They don’t bring me out very often… but I’m well preserved." - Rose Kennedy
"You know you are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work." - Hy Gardner
"Men do not quit playing because they grow old—they grow old because they quit playing." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
"Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself." - Tom Wilson
“You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.” —Billy Arthur
"Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out." - Phyllis Diller
"Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read." – George Burns
"I refuse to admit I’m more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate." - Nancy Astor
"There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure." - Dennis Wolfberg
"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down." - Leo Rosenberg
"When you’re older, Friday means less parking spots." - Larry David
Go to BabaMail
