"Life seems to fade our memory, so on this birthday I will forget yours if you forget mine!" - Kate Summers
"There is absolutely nothing to be said in favor of growing old. There ought to be legislation against it." - Patrick Moore
"Old age comes at a bad time." – San Banducci
"Everything slows down with age, except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips." - John Wagner
"It is better to wear out than to rust out." - Bishop Richard Cumberland
"The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down." - T.S. Elliot
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it." - Golda Meir
"The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume control also turns to the left. - Jerry M. Wright
"Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese." – Billie Burke
"Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too." – Lionel Kauffman
"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your retirement home."- Phyllis Diller
“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” - George Burns
"I have successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed." - Unknown
"Regrets are the natural property of grey hairs." - Charles Dickens
"Old age is always fifteen years older than I am." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
"To get back to my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable." - Oscar Wilde
"There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure." - Dennis Wolfberg
"You know you are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work." - Hy Gardner
"I’m so old that my blood type is discontinued." - Bill Dane
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all things that make you want to live to be a hundred." - Woody Allen
“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” – Maurice Chevalier
"One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it’s such a nice change from being young." – Dorothy Canfield Fisher
"I've never known a person who lives to be 110 who is remarkable for anything else." —Josh Billings
"Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years." - Oscar Wilde
“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”—Lucille Ball
"People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit." - George Burns
"I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you." – Andy Ronney
"Looking fifty is great—if you’re sixty." - Joan Rivers
"Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up." - John Wagner
"I’m 59 and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know?"- Barry Cryer
"In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn’t have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order." - Robert Brault
"I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet." - Rita Rudner
"You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks." - Joel Plaskett
"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." - Sir Norman Wisdom
"I don't do alcohol anymore—I get the same effect just standing up fast." - Anonymous
"The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget." - Unknown
"Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere." – George Burns
"We don’t grow older, we grow riper." - Pablo Picasso
"Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once." - Dave Barry
"All men are the same age." - Dorothy Parker
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."- George Carlin
"There is still no cure for the common birthday." - John Glenn
"As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer." - Robert Quillen"
"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do." - Phyllis Diller
"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie
"We must both, I’m afraid, recognise that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary." - C.S. Lewis
"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all." - Ann Landers
“Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.” - Maggie Kuhn
“Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” – Will Rogers
"Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen." - Mark Twain
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