“Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.” - Maggie Kuhn
"Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up." - John Wagner
"I have successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed." - Unknown
“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”—Lucille Ball
"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie
"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened." - Jennifer Yane
"Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once." - Dave Barry
“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” —George Burns
"Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years." - Oscar Wilde
"Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you." - Ogden Nash
"I’m like old wine. They don’t bring me out very often… but I’m well preserved." - Rose Kennedy
"I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap." - Bob Hope
“You spend 90 percent of your adult life hoping for a long rest and the last 10 percent trying to convince the Lord that you’re actually not that tired.” – Robert Brault
"You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake." – Bob Hope
"The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for." - Will Rogers
"Regrets are the natural property of grey hairs." - Charles Dickens
"In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn’t have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order." - Robert Brault
"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old." - Mark Twain
“When it comes to staying young, a mind-lift beats a face-lift any day.” – Marty Buccella
"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all." - Ann Landers
"Gray hair is God’s graffiti." – Bill Cosby
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell
"Old age comes at a bad time." – San Banducci
"To get back to my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable." - Oscar Wilde
"I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past." - Robert Brault
“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” – Maurice Chevalier
"If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself." - Anonymous
"I've never known a person who lives to be 110 who is remarkable for anything else." —Josh Billings
"It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle." - Unknown
"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do." - Phyllis Diller
“Old people shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.” – Robert Orben
"Men do not quit playing because they grow old—they grow old because they quit playing." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
"We don’t grow older, we grow riper." - Pablo Picasso
"At my age ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for." - Unknown
"Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician." - Anonymous
"Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read." – George Burns
"There is absolutely nothing to be said in favor of growing old. There ought to be legislation against it." - Patrick Moore
"There’s a reason why forty, fifty, and sixty don’t look the way they used to and it’s not because of feminism, or better living through exercise. It’s because of hair dye." Nora Ephron
"The idea is to die young as late as possible." - Ashley Montagu
"I’m 59 and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know?"- Barry Cryer
"It is better to wear out than to rust out." - Bishop Richard Cumberland
"All men are the same age." - Dorothy Parker
"You know you are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work." - Hy Gardner
"I can honestly say I love getting older. Then again, I never put my glasses on before looking in the mirror." - Cherie Lunghi
"Today, you’re 50. Now we can round your age up to 100! Happy 50th birthday!" - Dave Barry"
""Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." - Larry Lorenzoni
"Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself." - Tom Wilson
"Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380 pounds, and tell the truth." - Conan O’Brien
"People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit." - George Burns
“Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” – Will Rogers
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