What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?
At the second-hand store.
What do you call the Frankenstein of the Gardening world?
An A-botan-ation.
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
What tree monster prowls the forest?
Frankenpine.
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
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