Alive

If Moses were alive today, why would he be considered a remarkable man?
Because he would be several thousand years old.
If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for? Their AGE!
What would Kurt Cobain be doing if he was still alive? Clawing at the inside of his casket.
The British, the Camel and the Meal
The British, the Camel and the Meal Three English men were walking through a desert. They were tired and thirsty but most of all hungry. Soon, they came across a nomad with about two camels, one alive and one very much dead. The nomad said "Hey there, you guys look hungry" The three men all nodded. "I tell you what, I was about to start eating this camel. I'll share it with you" The three men soon started arguing about who gets what when one of them chimes in with a "Alright guys, how about this? Whatever football team we support dictates what part of the camel we can have." So he goes "Well, I support Liverpool." So he got the liver "I support Hartlepool." said the second man. So he got the heart. The last guy said "I support Arsenal but I'm not hungry."