"I can honestly say I love getting older. Then again, I never put my glasses on before looking in the mirror." - Cherie Lunghi
“Parenting without a sense of humor is like being an accountant who sucks at math.”
- Amber Dusick.
"No one betrays a Gemini and gets off without a sound ear-bashing."
— Richard MacDonald
“I know family comes first, but shouldn’t that mean after breakfast?”
- Jeff Lindsay.
“Summer is the annual permission slip to be lazy.”
– Regina Brett
“It’s like kids can just smell when you start relaxing.” - Anonymous
“The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.”
Unknown
“The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.”
- Lane Olinghouse.
“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.”
Dave Barry
“I never realized how annoying I could be until I created a miniature version of myself and started arguing with it daily.” — Anonymous
"You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive."
"I love love, and I’m very hopeful and was raised on all the fairy tales everyone else had. I just noted that everyone’s mom was dead and real princesses get beheaded, so I just have a more realistic take on it."
- Amy Schumer
“If you are not yelling at your kids, you are not spending enough time with them.” —Reese Witherspoon
"If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?"
"I love when my kids tells me they’re bored. As if the lady standing in front of a full sink of dirty dishes is where you go to get ideas about how to have a good time." – Unknown
"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."
- Albert Einstein
“Just found out the wife is writing a book about our honeymoon, called ’50 Shades of Just O.K.’”—Conan O’Brien
"I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot. Sleep for a while. Wake up beautiful."
“Apologizing in advance for the things I say this winter.”
“Best friends know how crazy you are and still choose to be seen with you in public.”
— Unknown
“After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.” —Oscar Wilde
"Instead of taking the pants off the taxpayer it might be better to take the vest off the vested interests."
— Mark Twain
“A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.”
― Unknown
“Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.”
Dale Carnegie
“Sign for a beginner’s yoga class: Enquire Within.” – Unknown
“Beverly Hills is very exclusive. For instance, their fire department won’t make house calls.”
Mort Sahl
“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” – Benjamin Franklin
"The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume control also turns to the left. - Jerry M. Wright
"A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken."
- James Dent
"I will never break up with my gym. We just seem to workout."
- Unknown.
"I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining."
“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
"What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds."
- Cindy Garner.
A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, "At my age, I don't even buy green bananas."
Claude Pepper
“I think if we tell people that the brain is an app, they will start using it.”
Anonymous
“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
~ Bill Watterson
"Yoga is a way of getting totally drunk – not on alcohol but on life."
- Sadhguru
George Burns
First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
"Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you!" - Tommy Smothers
“To hike is to complain.” – Dean Johnston
“Today’s good mood is sponsored by yoga.” – Unknown
“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”
Charles M. Schulz
“Having children is like living in a frat house — nobody sleeps, everything s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.”
- Ray Romano.
“It’s funny how your parents tell you it’s their house, but as soon as something needs cleaning, it magically becomes yours too.”—Unknown
“A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.” - Jerry Seinfeld
"His insomnia was so bad, he couldn’t sleep during office hours."
~ Arthur Baer
“You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.”
– Paul Theroux
"Love may be the best driving wheel, but anger is a pretty good second."
– Steven Tyler
“May your stuffing be tasty. May your turkey be plump. May your potatoes and gravy have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious and your pies take the prize, and may your Thanksgiving dinner stay off your thighs!” —Anonymous
Go to BabaMail
