All our puns are here, and it's gonna get punny...

Funny Puns

"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."
"Well, tell him I can't see him right now."
Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
Sadly, hydrogen and helium broke things off. But they still think of each other... periodically.
Unfortunately, the jumper cables are getting a divorce. They just had no spark.
Why did Comic Sans divorce Times New Roman? He just wasn’t her type.
It’s been a few years since the invisible man married the invisible woman.
Their kids are nothing to look at.
Why did the King of Hearts marry the Queen of Hearts?
They were perfectly suited to each other.
Did you hear about the notebook who married a pencil? She finally found Mr. Write.
I went to a wedding of two nuclear technicians.
The bride was radiant and the groom was glowing.
Two florists recently got married.
It was an arranged marriage.
Did you hear about the two cell phones that got married?
The ceremony was so so but the reception was superb.
There was a bald man who married his comb.
He promised, “I’ll never part with it!”
Did you hear about the happy cannon balls?
They just got married and I hear they’re already expecting some BBs.
Did you hear about the two spiders who just got engaged? I hear they met on the web."
"It's been an emotional day,," said the groom. "Even the cake is in tiers."
My wife says she’s leaving me because she thinks I’m too obsessed with astronomy.
What planet is she on?!
A detective was interviewing the victim of an assault.
The victim described the assailant as a leather box with a handle on it. The culprit was arrested 30 minutes later.
It was a brief case.
Two friends were hanging out. One asks the other: "Hey, do you know about the famous detective that can't do bowel movements?"
The other friend replies: "No sh** Sherlock, of course I do!"
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
I knew a detective who always wore a cat costume.
One day I asked him why.
He told me "I am always in purrsuit."
Why has the prosthesis dealer become a private detective?
He has a nose for these things.
Quasimodo would’ve been a great detective
He always had a good hunch.
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
You're one in a melon.
If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one.
You must be copper and terillium because you are Cu-Te
I love you and I ain’t lion.
I love you deerly.
There might be other fish in the sea, but you’re my sole mate
Let’s spend some koala-ty time together.