Crap

A blond pushes her BMW into the gas station and tells the mechanic that it died.
After working on it for a few minutes, he has it idling smoothly.
"What's the story?" she asked.
"Just crap in the carburetor," the mechanic replied.
"How often do I have to do that?" asked the blond.
You're so ugly, you scared the crap out of the toilet.
I only lost 2 pounds while taking laxatives for a colonoscopy.
I guess I'm not as full of crap as I thought.
Can You Say Daddy?
Can You Say Daddy? Baby: "Mommy." Dad: "No. Say daddy." Baby: "Mommy." Dad: "Crap! Say daddy!" Baby: "Crap!" Dad: "What did you say?" Baby: "Crap!" Mom: "I'm home!" Baby: "Crap!" Mom: "What? Where did you hear that?" Baby: "Daddy."
Yo Mama so ugly when she went to the bathroom, she scared the crap out of the toilet.
Why did God give blondes 2 more brain cells than horses? So they don't crap in the parade.
Constipated people don’t give a crap.
Love is like a fart - if you have to force it it's probably crap.