"In the family sandwich, the older people and the younger ones can recognize one another as the bread. Those in the middle are, for a time, the meat." - Anna Quindlen
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”—George Burns
“Mother-daughter disagreements were, in hindsight, basically mother stating the truth and daughter taking her own sweet time coming around.”—Barbara Delinsky
“Never let an angry sister comb your hair.”
- Patricia McCann
“It’s especially hard to admit that you made a mistake to your parents, because, of course, you know so much more than they do.”—Sean Covey, The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Teens
“Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.”
- Martin Mull.
“Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.”
- Sam Levenson
“To a small child, the perfect grandad is unafraid of big dogs and fierce storms but absolutely terrified of the word “boo”.—Robert Breault
“Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven’t thought of yet.”—Gene Perret
“The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life’s essential unfairness.”
- Nancy Mitford
“Teach your kids to spend more time annoying each other so they have less time to spend annoying you.”—Unknown
“My dad used to say, ‘Always fight fire with fire.’ Which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.”—Harry Hill
“Family ties mean that no matter how much you might want to run from your family, you can’t.”—Unknown
“The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.”—Sam Levenson
“I think a dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it.”
- Mary Karr
“Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.”
- Jerry Seinfeld
“Family is a blessing. Just keep saying that when you are irritated by something a family member says.”
- Marcelina Hardy
“What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.”
- Rodney Dangerfield.
“I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance—waiting for the bathroom.”—Bob Hope
“What strange creatures brothers are!”—Jane Austen
“Your basic extended family today includes your ex-husband or ex-wife, your ex’s new mate, your new mate, possibly your new mate’s ex and any new mate that your new mate’s ex has acquired.”
- Delia Ephron
“Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.”
- Douglas Adams.
“Parents must get across the idea that “I love you always, but sometimes I do not love your behavior.”—Amy Vanderbilt
“From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge.”
- Jarod Kintz
“Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.”
- Wayne H
“Sisters never quite forgive each other for what happened when they were five.”—Pam Brown
“Family life is a bit like a runny peach pie, not perfect but who’s complaining?”
- Robert Brault.
"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them." - George Bernard Shaw
“In the family sandwich, the older people and the younger ones can recognize one another as the bread. Those in the middle are, for a time, the meat.”
- Anna Quindlen
"A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold." - Ogden Nash
“If your family tree does not fork, you might be a redneck.”
- Jeff Foxworthy.
"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie
“Everyone knows that if you’ve got a brother, you’re going to fight.”—Liam Gallagher
“It’s not easy being a mom. If it were easy, fathers would do it.”—Betty White
“If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that “Members not Present” and “Subjects Discussed” were one and the same.”
- Robert Brault
“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.”—George Bernard Shaw
“It was nice growing up with someone like you—someone to lean on, someone to count on…someone to tell on!”—Unknown
"In some families, 'please' is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was 'sorry.'" - Margaret Laurence
“The advantage of having only one child is that you always know who did it.”
- Erma Bombeck.
“Older siblings: the only people who will pick on you for their own entertainment and beat up anyone else who tries.”—Unknown
“The more you’re loving and understanding, the more your kids will sing.”
- Maxime Lagacé
“Family is just accident...They don’t mean to get on your nerves. They don’t even mean to be your family, they just are.”
- Marsha Norman
“My father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.”—Spike Milligan
“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now, and we don’t know where the heck she is.”—Ellen DeGeneres
“A mother becomes a true grandmother the day she stops noticing the terrible things her children do because she is so enchanted with the wonderful things her grandchildren do.”—Lois Wyse
“Being part of a family means smiling for photos.” –Harry Morgan
“What brothers say to tease their sisters has nothing to do with what they really think of them.”—Esther Friesner
"Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space." - Evan Esar
“I love playing a dad. It’s hard to find family dramas that are genuinely funny.”
- Peter Gallagher
“My family is really boring. They have a coffee table book called Pictures We Took Just to Use Up the Rest of the Film.”
- Penelope Lombard.