“Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.”
- Martin Mull.
“My family is really boring. They have a coffee table book called Pictures We Took Just to Use Up the Rest of the Film.”
- Penelope Lombard.
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”—George Burns
“Family is a blessing. Just keep saying that when you are irritated by something a family member says.”
- Marcelina Hardy
“If your family tree does not fork, you might be a redneck.”
- Jeff Foxworthy.
“Every generation revolts against its fathers and makes friends with its grandfathers.”—Lewis Mumford
“My friends and family always thought I was pretty funny, but I don’t know if they thought I was get-my-own-show funny.”
- Nick Kroll
“Have you ever noticed how parents can go from the most wonderful people in the world to totally embarrassing in three seconds?”—Rick Riordan, The Red Pyramid
“When I was ten, my family moved to Downer’s Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them.”
- Emo Phillips.
“The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.”—George Carlin
“The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.”—Henny Youngman
“I think a dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it.”
- Mary Karr
“A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.”—Ogden Nash
“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.”—George Bernard Shaw
“As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices take it or leave it.”
- Buddy Hacket
“I realized my family was funny because nobody ever wanted to leave our house.”
- Anthony Anderson
“Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.”
- Wayne H
“You can kid the world, but not your sister.”—Charlotte Gray
"A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold." - Ogden Nash
“One would be in less danger, from the wiles of the stranger, if one’s own kin and kith, were more fun to be with.”
- Ogden Nash
“Grandmas don’t just say “that’s nice”—they reel back and roll their eyes and throw up their hands and smile. You get your money’s worth out of grandmas.”—Unknown
“Mother-daughter disagreements were, in hindsight, basically mother stating the truth and daughter taking her own sweet time coming around.”—Barbara Delinsky
“Never let an angry sister comb your hair.”
- Patricia McCann
“I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.”
- Rodney Dangerfield
“The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.”
- Robert Brault
“Family life is a bit like a runny peach pie, not perfect but who’s complaining?”
- Robert Brault.
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell“Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.”
- Gracie Allen
“My father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.”—Spike Milligan
“It’s funny how your parents tell you it’s their house, but as soon as something needs cleaning, it magically becomes yours too.”—Unknown
“Older siblings: the only people who will pick on you for their own entertainment and beat up anyone else who tries.”—Unknown
“Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something.”—Lemony Snicket, Horseradish
“I know family comes first, but shouldn’t that mean after breakfast?”
- Jeff Lindsay.
“My dad used to say, ‘Always fight fire with fire.’ Which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.”—Harry Hill
"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them." - George Bernard Shaw
“The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.”—Sam Levenson
“Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.”—Wayne Huizenga
“Children really can brighten up a house, because they never turn the lights off.”
- Ralph Bus.
“Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.”—Chelsea Handler
“The advantage of having only one child is that you always know who did it.”
- Erma Bombeck.
“What strange creatures brothers are!”—Jane Austen
“I love playing a dad. It’s hard to find family dramas that are genuinely funny.”
- Peter Gallagher
“A mother becomes a true grandmother the day she stops noticing the terrible things her children do because she is so enchanted with the wonderful things her grandchildren do.”—Lois Wyse
“Respect your parents. These guys pay for your internet.”—Unknown
“The best babysitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida.”—Dave Barry
“Everyone knows that if you’ve got a brother, you’re going to fight.”—Liam Gallagher
“Sisters never quite forgive each other for what happened when they were five.”—Pam Brown
“There is no worse parent than an unhappy parent!”
― Rossana Condoleo
"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them.”
- George Bernard Shaw
“Every family is dysfunctional, whether you want to admit it or not.”
- Shailene Woodley.
“I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance—waiting for the bathroom.”—Bob Hope
Go to BabaMail
