“Being part of a family means smiling for photos.” –Harry Morgan
“To a small child, the perfect grandad is unafraid of big dogs and fierce storms but absolutely terrified of the word “boo”.—Robert Breault
“Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.”—Wayne Huizenga
“If you don’t annoy your big sister for no good reason from time to time, she thinks you don’t love her anymore.”—Pearl Cleage
"Families are like fudge ... mostly sweet with a few nuts." - Unknown
“The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.”
- Robert Brault
"The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume control also turns to the left. - Jerry M. Wright
“A man’s womenfolk, whatever their outward show of respect for his merit and authority, always regard him secretly as an ass, and with something akin to pity.”
- H. L. Mencken.
“What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.”
- Rodney Dangerfield.
“You can kid the world, but not your sister.”—Charlotte Gray
“What strange creatures brothers are!”—Jane Austen
“Respect your parents. These guys pay for your internet.”—Unknown
"A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold." - Ogden Nash
"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them." - George Bernard Shaw
“If your family tree does not fork, you might be a redneck.”
- Jeff Foxworthy.
“It’s funny how your parents tell you it’s their house, but as soon as something needs cleaning, it magically becomes yours too.”—Unknown
"Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space." - Evan Esar
“I realized my family was funny because nobody ever wanted to leave our house.”
- Anthony Anderson
“Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.”
- Douglas Adams.
"In the family sandwich, the older people and the younger ones can recognize one another as the bread. Those in the middle are, for a time, the meat." - Anna Quindlen
“Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern…like bad wallpaper.”
- Friedrich Nietzsche.
“My family is really boring. They have a coffee table book called Pictures We Took Just to Use Up the Rest of the Film.”
- Penelope Lombard.
“It’s especially hard to admit that you made a mistake to your parents, because, of course, you know so much more than they do.”—Sean Covey, The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Teens
“The more you’re loving and understanding, the more your kids will sing.”
- Maxime Lagacé
“Everyone knows that if you’ve got a brother, you’re going to fight.”—Liam Gallagher
“Older siblings: the only people who will pick on you for their own entertainment and beat up anyone else who tries.”—Unknown
“Children really can brighten up a house, because they never turn the lights off.”
- Ralph Bus.
“As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.”—Buddy Hackett
“The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.”—Sam Levenson
“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”
- Erma Bombeck
“If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that “Members not Present” and “Subjects Discussed” were one and the same.”
- Robert Brault
“I love playing a dad. It’s hard to find family dramas that are genuinely funny.”
- Peter Gallagher
“Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.”
- Cary Grant.
“I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.”
- Rodney Dangerfield
“Grandmas don’t just say “that’s nice”—they reel back and roll their eyes and throw up their hands and smile. You get your money’s worth out of grandmas.”—Unknown
“It’s not easy being a mom. If it were easy, fathers would do it.”—Betty White
"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie
“Every generation revolts against its fathers and makes friends with its grandfathers.”—Lewis Mumford
“Mother-daughter disagreements were, in hindsight, basically mother stating the truth and daughter taking her own sweet time coming around.”—Barbara Delinsky
“From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge.”
- Jarod Kintz
"In some families, 'please' is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was 'sorry.'" - Margaret Laurence
“My dad used to say, ‘Always fight fire with fire.’ Which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.”—Harry Hill
“What brothers say to tease their sisters has nothing to do with what they really think of them.”—Esther Friesner
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”—Phyllis Diller
“Family is a blessing. Just keep saying that when you are irritated by something a family member says.”
- Marcelina Hardy
“The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.”—George Carlin
“My father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.”—Spike Milligan
“I know family comes first, but shouldn’t that mean after breakfast?”
- Jeff Lindsay.
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”—George Burns
“Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something.”—Lemony Snicket, Horseradish
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