Horrifically bad and funny pick up lines from men and from women

Are there people following you?
Because I'm seeing someone behind your back.
You know, it's not the length of the vector that counts. It's how you apply the force.
Except the direction I'm walking in.
I wish I was your calculus homework, because then I'd be hard and you'd be doing me on your desk.
Am I cute enough yet? Or do you need more to drink?
I'm not a hipster, but I could make your hips stir.
Are you a banker?
Because you need to leave me a loan.
I’m invisible. [Really?] Can you see me? [Yes]. How about tomorrow night?
"This isn't easy and neither are you. I'm breaking up with you."
You make the Queen of Sheba look like a hobo.
Just call me milk. I'll do your body good.
Go with me and you'll be (Mg,Fe)7Si8O22(OH)2.
Are you one of Job's daughters?
Because you're twice as beautiful as any other girl I've ever seen.
Roses are red, violets are blue, how would you like it if I came home with you?
You make me wanna go inside your wine cabinet and pull myself out a stiff one.
Wanna partner up so we can test the spring potential of my bed mattress?
You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life.
Are you a tower? Because eiffel for you!
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
If you were a Transformer you'd be Optimus Fine!
If you go out with me, I promise I won’t take you for granite.
My d**k is committed to you, but my heart is not.
Walk by a girl and say "Are you looking at me? And if she says no say "Damn!" You had me at your impeccable spelling and correct use of grammar.
Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?
What's your name? Because I'll be screaming it all night long.
Girl, you are so fine, I had to upgrade my graphics card just to admire your pictures.
I feel like God's telling me that you should go on a date with me.
"When I'm older looking back at all of my finest memories, and I'll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you."
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
You look so good, it's like you have a permanent photoshop filter on.