March Jokes

“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. The cashier asked " How long would you like them"
"From march to September", said the man.
March 17 is near, and I am so excited about it. The clover it gets, the more excited I become.
Why are bunnies always tired in April? Because they just finished a March.
Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools Chuck Norris.
If February is Black History Month and March is Women’s History Month, what happens the rest of the year?
Discrimination.
Babies born March 31st are the easiest to prank on April Fool’s
They were literally born yesterday.
GF - I'm sorry babe but I've cheated on you.

BF - I'm sorry as well, I've also cheated on you.

GF - April fools day!

BF - Mine was on the 24th of March.
What did the detective in the Arctic say to the suspect?
Where were you on the night of September to March?
My son is a man trapped in a woman’s body..
He’ll be born in March.
Who Are Those For, Dad? A man walks into a drugstore with his 8-year-old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?" "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe intercourse." the man replies matter-of-factly. "Oh I see," replies the boy, pensively. "I've heard of that in health class at school." He picks up a packet of three condoms and asks: "Why are there three in this package, Dad?" "Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday," the man replies. "Cool!" says the boy. He notices a six-pack and asks: "So who are these for, Dad?" "Those are for college men," the dad answers. "Two for Friday, two for Saturday and two for Sunday." "Wow!" exclaimed the boy. "Then who uses THESE?" he asks as he picks up a 12-pack. "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March..."
When she saw all the madness around her, March said, “what’s all that bracket”.
A Roman Lifeguard on duty:
See Caesar, Beware the tides of March!
Me: When is your birthday?

She: March 1st

Me: *walking around the room* When is your birthday?
Can February March? No. But April May.
Which month do soldiers hate most? The month of March!
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