What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.