What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?
A flightoplankton.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
What did one fish say to the other?
If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
What is the funniest fish in the sea?
A clownfish.
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
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