What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
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