What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fishually impaired.
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
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