Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.