Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.