How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
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