How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
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