What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
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