Horse Puns

You galloped to the right place for a complete list of horse puns!

How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
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