Two spines are running up the hill as a hedgehog passes by them
Then one spine turns and says to the other “we missed the bus!!”
My skeleton girlfriend dumped me the other day. She had the hottest spine I have ever seen.
I just want her back.
Earlier today someone sent me a bunch of flowers, but all the heads had been cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.
I'm glad I have my 2nd Amendment right to bear arms.
Otherwise, I'd have been amputated at birth.
A balding magician had an act where he'd put a rabbit on his head and make it disappear...
The hare vanished into thin hair.
What do you call a toddler running towards their mother with arms high up in the air?
A quick pick-me-up.
What did the skeleton bring to the potluck?
Spare ribs.
I'm so Midwestern, it's in my blood
I'm type Ohp!-ositive
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
"Let's have some skele-fun."
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
A mime in our town was arrested yesterday after he got into a bar fight and broke his left arm.
He still has the right to remain silent.
When it came to tilling his garden by hand, he put a lot of heart into it.
He was gung hoe.
Asked my son what his favourite thing about Popeye was.
He said, "Forearms."
I said, "No, he only has two."
Does anybody remember the joke I posted about my spine?
It was about a weak back.
She was wheeled to the operating room, but then she underwent a change of heart.
Why do youngsters like pelvic bones so much?
Because they're hip.
Why do skeletons get sick on windy days?
It goes right through them.
Recently, my friend had his ankle bone crack.
I told him he shouldn't be so broken up over it.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
The guy who invented the watch must have had a lot of time on his hands
How do skeleton’s get their mail delivered?
By the bony express.
Why did the pig have a heart attack?
Too much bacon.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
Working the poker table at the casino with my new prosthetic hand is going to be a challenge,
But I’ll learn to deal with it.
what does goblin's blood consist of?
A hemogoblin
What do you call a carnival worker who’s eating a turkey leg?
A carnie-vor.
I wish that I could be the coronary artery of my wife so that I would be wrapped around her heart.
I was sailing my boat when a massive hand rose out of the water and then slowly disappeared...
I thought, 'That's the biggest wave I've ever seen!'
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
"You can't skele-run from my skele-puns."
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
A golfer had a heart attack and died on the way to the hospital. He was on a fairway to heaven.
You’re my sweetheart, and I’m so pumped about that.
I can't stand people who don't wash their hands.
They make me sick.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
Why aren’t skeletons good at poker?
You can see right through them.
I had a birth defect where they had to relocate my heart
I guess you could say my heart wasn't in the right place.
As a mythologist and head of the household,
My word is lore.
A monk, a priest and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type o"
Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters?
I Q U.
"Some people have no guts."
Doctor said I’m at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.
I took what he said with a grain of salt.
So my blood test came back positive.
Turns out I’m full of the stuff.
Why couldn't the skeleton get a date to the dance?
He doesn't have the heart to ask anyone out.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
I bring my knees to my head and lean forwards.
That's just how I roll.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.