Body Puns

Is anybody here? We need a live body for these body puns!

The Queen of the Nile was said to always show a bit of leg...
but Nefertiti.
I don't mind leg day at the gym.
It's just the two days after that I can't stand.
Are you a locksmith? Because you hold the key to my heart.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a pool?
My son was injected with poisoned blood from a person from Finland
He said "I am finnished."
Where do you imprison a naughty skeleton?
A rib cage.
"Bugs and hisses."
Restrooms in restaurants often have a sign saying "Employees must wash hands".
But after waiting hours, no one has ever helped me with mine!
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
What do skeletons put in their photocopiers?
Scientist are shocked after discovery of a new african bee species that can keep on flying even after their heart stops.
Local tribes in fear of a zombee apocalypse
The guy who invented the watch must have had a lot of time on his hands
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
I hate going to the doctor because all he does is suck blood from my neck.
Do NOT go see Dr. Acula!
Why are skeletons such bad liars?
Everyone can see right through them.
What has four legs and one arm?

A rottweiler at a park.
what do doctors use to draw blood?
A needle?
No, a red crayon!
Why was the skeleton so lonely?
He had no body.
What do you call a fake bone?
A faux-knee.
Midwife (handing me the baby): "Make sure you’re supporting his head."
Me: "That’s a great head you have there, Well done!"
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
How do you know if a spine finds you funny?
It starts cracking up.
"Bone to be wild."
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
What did the police officer say to the hand?
Stop! You are under a wrist!
You’ve stolen my heart. I hereby place you under cardiac arrest.
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