The Queen of the Nile was said to always show a bit of leg...
but Nefertiti.
I don't mind leg day at the gym.
It's just the two days after that I can't stand.
I gave my heart to a girl from Great Britain.
She turns around and Brexit into a million pieces.
Two meth heads start a relationship, is that considered speed dating
or just mething around?
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
What bug has 100 legs and lives by the outhouse?
Scenta-Peed.
My son was injected with poisoned blood from a person from Finland
He said "I am finnished."
My doctor forgot to document my blood type.
It was a typo.
Where do you imprison a naughty skeleton?
A rib cage.
"Bugs and hisses."
Restrooms in restaurants often have a sign saying "Employees must wash hands".
But after waiting hours, no one has ever helped me with mine!
Scientist are shocked after discovery of a new african bee species that can keep on flying even after their heart stops.
Local tribes in fear of a zombee apocalypse
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
Did you hear about the man who had nothing else to do so drilled into his own head?
He was bored to death.
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
What do skeletons put in their photocopiers?
Skeletoner
Why did the pianist have to be rushed into surgery after his latest performance?
He played his heart out.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
I hate going to the doctor because all he does is suck blood from my neck.
Do NOT go see Dr. Acula!
Why are skeletons such bad liars?
Everyone can see right through them.
What has four legs and one arm?
A rottweiler at a park.
Why are blood physicians so rich?
Because blood cells.
Why was the skeleton so lonely?
He had no body.
What do you call a fake bone?
A faux-knee.
What is a red heads favorite drink?
Ginger Ale.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
How do you know if a spine finds you funny?
It starts cracking up.
"Bone to be wild."
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
What did the police officer say to the hand?
Stop! You are under a wrist!
Are you a locksmith? Because you hold the key to my heart.
I went to the hospital for chest pains but the doctor kept inspecting my spine.
This place is back wards.
I think I'm going to remove my spine.
It's only holding me back.
Two spines are running up the hill as a hedgehog passes by them
Then one spine turns and says to the other “we missed the bus!!”
My cardiologist friend keeps sending me x-rays of his chest.
A bit weird, I know, but it just shows his heart is in the right place.
I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until a doctor advised me to take the candles off first.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
She was wheeled to the operating room, but then she underwent a change of heart.
How did the cardiologist figure out what she wanted to do with her life?
She just followed her heart.
I auditioned to be a carpenter’s hand.
Nailed it.
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
Why didn’t the skeleton feel like patching up his broken ribcage?
His heart wasn’t in it.
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”?
Because every play needs a cast.
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.
The poor man dyed a loan.
Why is a baby showing the top of its head during labor a significant event?
Because that’s the baby’s crowning achievement.
What do you call a father who’s against hand bags?
Antiperspirant.
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