What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
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