What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
What do you call fifty-five gnomes in the mouth of a kraken?
A good start.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
Have you seen Jake’s new custom trumpet? Yeah, that’s quite a unique horn, I’d know it anywhere.
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
Why was the gnome just standing over his lawnmower and crying?
Because he hit a rough patch.
My pen ran out of ink and an ink fairy in the shape of a squid appeared. He said if I let him eat my dinner of shrimp he'd help me out by giving me some ink. The deal smelled kind of fishy, but I needed to finish my homework.
So we did it squid pro quo.
What did the Little Mermaid say to Triton before she left?
- If you need me, call me on my shell.
You'd think seeing a mermaid in real life would be terrifying, but it wasn't half as bad.
Call me on the shellphone.
The ocean doesn't like to say hello, it just waves.
One mermaid said to the other, "I love your shell bracelet, can I Triton?"
What do pixies use to clean their teeth?
Fairy floss.
Why would a judge make a good tooth fairy?
Because they want the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
What do you call a small scoop of ice-cream? A uni-cone.
We were mermaid for each other.
Fairies just wand to have fun.
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
You seem a little mer-mad.
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
A komodo dragon works security cameras at a store for other komodo dragons. Mostly, he makes sure no other dragon is spying on the customers.
He's a monitor monitor monitoring a monitor for monitoring monitors.
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
I swear I saw one of those mythical creatures somewhere in the bush; but when I came back, it was uni-gone.
What do you call a philosophical fairy?
Thinker-bell.
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
What do you call the dandruff found on unicorn manes? Horn flakes.
You are shrimply the best!
What's a dragon's favorite snack?
Fire Crackers!
I just paid for a boat ride to a magic themed renaissance carnival. The price was reasonable.
It was a fair fairy faire ferry fare.
I’ve heard of fraudsters before, but that was one heck of a unique-con if I ever saw one.
Did you know that unicorns live in New York City? I swear why do you think their called uNYCorns?
They can’t read it, it’s on a need-to-gnome basis.
What do you call Dragon with no silver?
A dron.
---
You think dinosaurs are scary?
Imagine dragons!
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
Shes a fairy realistic person.
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
Did you hear the one about the genius unicorn who aced every subject? Yeah, he was a real A corn.
What do you call the Tooth Fairy in a lamp?
A Hygenie.
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
Go big or go gnome.
Did you hear about the monk who was caught molesting kids? Yeah, bastard was telling the poor kids to touch his eunuch-horn.
Go to BabaMail
