What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
After a long day at work, I feel like half a mythical creature...
Because I'm Dragon Ass.
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
Why don't gnomes tell secrets in the garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Plus, the beanstalk!
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
The ocean doesn't like to say hello, it just waves.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights.
Shell-abrate the good times!
Mermaids always drink mermosas.
What do pixies use to clean their teeth?
Fairy floss.
What do you call a fairy that doesn’t like to shower?
Stinkerbell.
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
A dragon would never explode
But a dino might.
When the unicorn lost his job, there was nothing funny about being canned corn anymore.
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
What is a fairy’s favorite drink?
Sprite.
I was reading a story about dragons the other day
It just seemed to DRAG ON and on.
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.
Even as unicorn parents, you always want to control the internet unless you want your foals checking
out uniporn all day.
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
Two Dragons walk into a bar.
1st dragon: It's hot in here
2nd dragon: Shut your mouth.
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
Why did the confused gnome decide to see a shrink?
Because he had low elf-esteem.
I designed a dungeons and dragons weapon for wizards. It's a magical melee weapon shaped like a tome that uses intellect for damage instead of strength.
I call it "Book Club"
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
Famous mermaid saying: Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
What did the fish say to the mermaid?
- Have a fintastic day!
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
Fairies just spell trouble.
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
Shes a fairy realistic person.
I think you're mer-mazing.
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
A komodo dragon works security cameras at a store for other komodo dragons. Mostly, he makes sure no other dragon is spying on the customers.
He's a monitor monitor monitoring a monitor for monitoring monitors.
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?
Why did the gnome take the subway to work?
Because a metro-gnome is always on time.
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
Did you hear a gnome's favorite sport is baseball?
They love to score gnome runs.
Why did the Dragon Cross the Road?
He wanted to eat some chicken.
What do they call the fairy in the Mexican version of Peter Pan?
Taco Bell.
Would you call a hardy unicorn that survived disease an immunicorn?
Go to BabaMail
