They aren’t gnome for their humor.
Most unicorns start off as poor hunters until they can really horn their skills.
What's the difference between a person that just won the lottery and a fairy in salt water?
One is tickled pink, the other is a pickled Tink.
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
Why did the confused gnome decide to see a shrink?
Because he had low elf-esteem.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
A dyslexic witch cursed me!
Now everything I touch turns to glod, an increasingly disgruntled gnome.
Let’s kick off shall we? I just hope that my unicorn puns won’t be too corny for you.
If an adult is called a unicorn, are its young one’s called puny-corns?
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
They can’t read it, it’s on a need-to-gnome basis.
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
Why can't mermaids use the letters A or B?
They only know what's below C level.
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
Have you seen Jake’s new custom trumpet? Yeah, that’s quite a unique horn, I’d know it anywhere.
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.
I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
A gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
Did you hear about the misguided unicorn lumberjack who was killing humans? He believed he was doing random axe of kindness.
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
I swear I saw one of those mythical creatures somewhere in the bush; but when I came back, it was uni-gone.
What do they call the fairy in the Mexican version of Peter Pan?
Taco Bell.
What do you call fifty-five gnomes in the mouth of a kraken?
A good start.
I used to adventure with a gnome, but he gave it up so he could focus on writing under a pseudonym. He became a gnome-de-plume…
Why do gnomes make such great secretaries?
Because they’re good at shorthand.
Why does the little mermaid wear sea shells?
Cause B-shells are too small, and D- shells are too big.
A dragon would never explode
But a dino might.
Who granted the fish a wish?
The fairy codmother.
Mermaids always drink mermosas.
"Whale, what do we have here?" said the mermaid.
Why did the fairy play football?
Because she was fairy sportable!
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
When my daughter said she saw some chubby unicorns at the zoo, I couldn’t believe it. But it turns out it was just rhinos.
When the unicorn lost his job, there was nothing funny about being canned corn anymore.
For years I told my daughter she was half-human and half-mermaid... but that her bottom half was human, and her top half was mermaid.
What do you call a 2D fairy?
Pixie-lated.
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
I'm investigating the tooth fairy, and it's going well...
I've managed to get a molar into her operation. I'm going to find out the tooth at the root of all this.
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
Do you know what Tinkerbell's tooshie is called?
A fairy tale.
Famous mermaid saying: Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
How do you know the tooth fairy is a journalist?
They're always searching for the tooth.
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
Would you call a guy who’s eating corn while riding a unicycle a unicorn on the cob?
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
Uni-corn? I though that’s what you call a single grain or maize.
Did you hear about the misbehaving unicorn? Sure, but I never though that these creatures could get so horny.
Too bad, if only I’d gnome!
Did you hear about the forgetful unicorn mom? She kept feeding her kids milk of amnesia.