Where do criminal unicorns sentenced to death go? They go on corn row.
Most unicorns start off as poor hunters until they can really horn their skills.
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
What's a dragon's favorite snack?
Fire Crackers!
Why did the pre-pubescent dragon lose the rap battle?
He couldn't spit hot fire yet.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
The Little Mermaid shouldn’t be named Ariel
She should be named Nautical!
I'm a fairy.
My name's Nuff. Fair enough.
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.
I’ve heard of fraudsters before, but that was one heck of a unique-con if I ever saw one.
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
I swear I saw one of those mythical creatures somewhere in the bush; but when I came back, it was uni-gone.
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
You are shrimply the best!
No one could tame the unicorn. He was horn to be wild.
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
Go big or go gnome.
Did you hear the one about the genius unicorn who aced every subject? Yeah, he was a real A corn.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
Why does the little mermaid wear sea shells?
Cause B-shells are too small, and D- shells are too big.
Let’s kick off shall we? I just hope that my unicorn puns won’t be too corny for you.
If an adult is called a unicorn, are its young one’s called puny-corns?
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
Fishing you a happy day.
A gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
What do you call Dragon with no silver?
A dron.
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You think dinosaurs are scary?
Imagine dragons!
What do you call the Tooth Fairy in a lamp?
A Hygenie.
Just because your football team calls itself the unicorns doesn’t mean they can play in the corn field.
They aren’t gnome for their humor.
What do you call a philosophical fairy?
Thinker-bell.
What do you call the dandruff found on unicorn manes? Horn flakes.
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
What do you call a cloud that looks like a mermaid?
Aerial.
Who granted the fish a wish?
The fairy codmother.
Uni-corn? I though that’s what you call a single grain or maize.
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
What is the mermaid’s favorite drink?
A mertini.
What do they call the fairy in the Mexican version of Peter Pan?
Taco Bell.
What’s the best way to catch unicorns? Simple, by herding them all to one corner.
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
"Whale, what do we have here?" said the mermaid.
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
Whale, whale, whale, what do we have here?
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.