Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
What's the difference between a person that just won the lottery and a fairy in salt water?
One is tickled pink, the other is a pickled Tink.
Did you hear about the misbehaving unicorn? Sure, but I never though that these creatures could get so horny.
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
I hate how all my fairy photographs have really bad quality.
They’re all so pixielated.
Where do criminal unicorns sentenced to death go? They go on corn row.
Did you hear about the monk who was caught molesting kids? Yeah, bastard was telling the poor kids to touch his eunuch-horn.
What do you call an extremely disgusting unicorn that no one likes? An eeeww-nicorn.
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
Did you hear a gnome's favorite sport is baseball?
They love to score gnome runs.
What do you call a Mexican unicorn? Junicorn.
I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
Why do gnomes make such great secretaries?
Because they’re good at shorthand.
Why did the confused gnome decide to see a shrink?
Because he had low elf-esteem.
I’ve heard of fraudsters before, but that was one heck of a unique-con if I ever saw one.
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
Why don’t fairies live under toadstools?
Because there’s not mushroom in the enchanted forest.
The word Gnome is a corruption of the Latin word Genomus or earth dweller.
In other words, it's a misgnomer.
Uni-corn? I though that’s what you call a single grain or maize.
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?
What do pixies use to clean their teeth?
Fairy floss.
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
Gnomes don’t understand jokes, they go right over their heads.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
What do you call Dragon with no silver?
A dron.
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You think dinosaurs are scary?
Imagine dragons!
I'm a fairy.
My name's Nuff. Fair enough.
Why won’t you ever find a unicorn in the army? Because they don’t like wearing uniforms.
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
Why are dragons such good story tellers?
Because they have long tails.
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
When it comes to mermaids growing legs, it's all in the de-tail.
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
it was my pet dragon's birthday today
We lit the candles on his cake. He was really upset when he tried to blow them out.
What is a fairy’s favorite drink?
Sprite.
Why does the little mermaid wear sea shells?
Cause B-shells are too small, and D- shells are too big.
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
Why don't gnomes tell secrets in the garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Plus, the beanstalk!
Just because your football team calls itself the unicorns doesn’t mean they can play in the corn field.
"Whale, what do we have here?" said the mermaid.
Why are unicorns considered to be among the most impatient mammals? They’re quick to get to the point.
“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods.
He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to get married.”
“Why?” asked the man, smiling.
“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!”
Why is the tooth fairy so smart?
Because she has wisdom teeth!
You'd think seeing a mermaid in real life would be terrifying, but it wasn't half as bad.
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