What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
Why was the gnome just standing over his lawnmower and crying?
Because he hit a rough patch.
Where did Santa's little helpers go to high school?
They didn't, they were gnome-schooled.
How do you know the tooth fairy is a journalist?
They're always searching for the tooth.
Why was the leprechaun fired from his cashier job?
'Cause he was always a little short.
When the little unicorn got bullied at school, he told his pop-corn so he could do something about it.
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
You'd think seeing a mermaid in real life would be terrifying, but it wasn't half as bad.
I’ve heard of fraudsters before, but that was one heck of a unique-con if I ever saw one.
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
Did you hear about the gnome rogue?
Of course not, that g is silent!
You really mermaid my day.
What is a European dragon’s favorite food?
Swiss charred.
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
What did the fairy say to the other fairy?
It’s fairy nice to meet you!
Have you ever seen a baby dragon eating ice cream?
It'll melt your heart.
Shes a fairy realistic person.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
What's a dragon's favorite snack?
Fire Crackers!
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
Did you hear about the forgetful unicorn mom? She kept feeding her kids milk of amnesia.
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
After a long day at work, I feel like half a mythical creature...
Because I'm Dragon Ass.
There was an exotic pet race to take place.
Adam brought an iguana. "Hes big and fast so hes sure to win!"
Daniel brought a komodo dragon. "He can go really fast when theres a treat for him at the end!"
John brought a leopard gecko. "Hes small but does his best!"
The bets were placed, the race took place and Johns leopard gecko won. When asked after the race how they felt his competitors had only one thing to say:
"Sure no surprises there. We knew he was going to win from the gecko."
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
I love you so fairy much.
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
Two Dragons walk into a bar.
1st dragon: It's hot in here
2nd dragon: Shut your mouth.
Why did the gnome visit his mother?
To get a gnome-cooked meal.
Mermaids can be quite mean. Salmon had to say it.
What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
A small arms dealer.
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
Why do dwarves hunt dragons in the morning?
Because the early beard gets the wyrm.
What does a mermaid say when she was leaving the party?
- Sea ya later.
Where did the mermaid go on a date?
She was catching a movie at the dive-in.
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
What do you call a 2D fairy?
Pixie-lated.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
Fairies just wand to have fun.
What do you call a Mexican unicorn? Junicorn.
What do you call a connection between two points in space-time through which only dragons can pass?
A wyrmhole.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
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