What’s a dolphin’s favorite constellation?
The Big Dipper!
How does a dolphin do cocaine?
With its blow hole.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
Why don’t dolphin do well on school tests?
Because they work below C-Level!
How can you hear the sounds of a group of dolphins?
Listen to their podcast.
My wife: Did you know a single dolphin can have more than 200 offspring?
Me: Wow How about the married ones?
How does a pod of dolphins make a decision?
They flipper coin!
Some marine biologists argued about how best to handle angry dolphins.
The were working at cross porpoises.
Flaked tuna is a great product for both campers, and dolphins
It's truly useful for all in tents, and porpoises.
Why did the scientist use a drink container to communicate with dolphins?
Because a bottle knows dolphin.
What do dolphins need to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea!
Evolution is so strange. Dolphins started off as sea creatures, then evolved to have legs, only to eventually return to the sea and lose them.
Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?
Why did the dolphin blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks.
The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he jumps higher out of the water and calls out, 'Can you all see me now?' And they respond: 'Yes.' 'Oui.' 'Sí.' 'Ja.'
Why don’t dolphins play basketball?
Because they’re afraid of the net!
I once had a conversation with a dolphin.
We just clicked.
What did the mommy dolphin do when her son was an hour late for dinner?
She flipped out!
Why did the dolphin end its own life?
It was missing a porpoise.
What did the dolphin say when it broke its neighbor’s window?
It wasn’t on porpoise!
Why does the dolphin kingdom never go to war?
Because it would defeat the porpoise.
What did the dolphin say to its friend who wouldn’t stop lying?
Stop spouting nonsense!
Where’s a dolphin’s favorite place to drink?
A dive bar!
Dolphins don't have accidents.
They do everything on porpoise.
Where do dolphin races end?
Dolphinish line!
What did Cinderella Dolphin lose?
Her glass flipper!
What separates humans from dolphins?
The surface of the water.
What did the dolphin detective say to his partner?
Something smells fishy!
Why don’t dolphins have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
If dolphins lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland!
What did the dolphin do to the woman who was rude to it?
Flipper off!
Before training its killer dolphins, Iran had to convert them to fishlam.
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