How do you give a deer a compliment?
“Fawn over him!”
What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
How do you spot a deer behind you? With hind-sight!
Q. How do the doe and stag open the entry to their vacation cabin in the woods?
A. They just turn the deer knob.
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
What did the deer say to her friend when she needed assistance?
“Could you doe me a favour?”
Q. How do you describe a stinking filthy buck?
A. Deer-ty.
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
What did the baby deer say to his friend?
“I’m so fawn-d of you!”
What do teenage deer do at slumber parties?
Truth or deer.
Q. After the stripper is done, what happens at a stag party?
A. Deer-ty dancing.
What did the deer say after she did her friend a favor?
“You doe me!”
When we cross a deer and a mouse, what would we get?
“Mickey Moose!”
What is the difference between a deer nut and a beer nut?
“A beer nut is often more than a buck but a deer nut is always under a buck.”
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
What do you call an eyeless deer?
No-eye-deer.
Q. Which game do hunters go after first?
A. The nearest and the deerest.
What did the big stag deer say to the hunter?
“Buck off, man!”
Q. What did they serve with nacho cheese at stag parties?
A. Deer-itos.
What does the father deer say to the mother deer to show his love?
“I love you deerly!”
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
What do we call a deer that wears a mask and refuses to tell its name?
“Anony – moose.”
What should you give a deer when it gets stomachache?
Elk-a-seltzer.
What is the name of Santa’s rudest deer?
Rude-olph.
Q. Will a sensible stag do something dangerous to impress a doe?
A. No, not even on a deer.
Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
Why was the deer a good driver? He was great at using the deering wheel!
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
What Disney movie can a deer watch over and over again?
Fawn-tasia.
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
What is a deer’s favorite place to get breakfast?
Dunkin’ Doe-nuts!
What did the disappointed deer say? Oh deer!
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
What did the deer say to his friend during their night in the woods?
This is so much fawn!
What was wrong with the deer’s smile?
He had buck teeth.
What do deer always use to clean their homes?
Comet!
What did the deer say when her crush told her a joke?
“You are doe funny!”
Q. What is another name for elk diarrhea?
A. Chocolate Moose.
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
What is the most affordable type of meat that we would purchase?
“Dear balls because they are always under a buck.”