Who did the goats vote for as president?
Billy Clinton.
A goat came out of nowhere and headbutted me
It was a ram-done act of violence
Why are goats and rhinos attracted to each other?
Because they are both horny animals.
Why was the farmer angry?
Because someone got his goat.
What do you call a lazy goat?
Billy Idle.
What did the baby goat say to his father?
I kid you not.
When milking a nervous goat, you should use kid gloves.
What do you call a royal goat wearing denim?
Billy Jean King.
What did the little goats say when they were caught playing a prank on the sheep?
Sorry, we were just kidding.
I goat this.
Why is it hard to carry on a conversation with a goat?
Because they are always butting in.
Why did the ram run over the cliff edge?
Because he didn’t see the ewe turn.
Who called it a goat petting zoo...
and not Close Encounters of the Herd Kind?
If a young goat learns a martial art, are they a karate kid?
What do you call a Spanish goat with no hind legs?
Gracias.
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat.
How long has this been going on?
Since I was a kid.
Whatever floats your goat.
Goat milk?
What did the goat farmer’s wife say to her husband when he was swearing on the job?
“Not in front of the kids!”
Did you hear about the mother goat telling jokes?
She’s a real kidder.
Did you hear the joke about the lumberjack, The sheep and the goat?
I wood tell ewe, but it’s a baaaaaad joke
Did you hear about the owl who married a goat?
The had a hootenanny.
I told my parents I wanted to raise goats for a living, but I was only kidding.
What symbolizes a goat’s family tree?
A goat of arms.
What do you call a goat who is in charge of a university?
Billy Dean.
What do you call a goat that lip-syncs?
Billy Vanilli.
Young goats should be careful when they're out and and about and shouldn't jump into a stranger's car.
That's how you get kidnapped.
What do you call a Spanish Goat with no hind legs?
Gracias
What do you call an outlaw goat?
Billy the Kid.
If a goat grows a beard, is it a goatee?
What’s a goat’s favorite drink?
Goat-arade.
Do hairless goats wish they had mohair?
What do you call a goat swimming in the sea?
Billy Ocean.
For goat’s sake, that’s enough.
Is a goat that eats office supplies on a staple diet?
You have goat to be kidding me.
What do mountain climbers share around the campfire?
Goat Stories!
What kind of music do goats listen to?
Baaa-ch!
What’s the definition of butter?
An angry goat.
What's a goat's favorite organ?
A Kid-ney
What’s a goat’s favorite musical?
Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dream Goat.
What do you call an immature goat?
A silly billy.
What do you call a goat who paints pictures?
Vincent Van Goat.
What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?
America’s Goat Talent.
What do goats eat?
Goatmeal.
How do you keep a goat from charging?
You take his credit card away!
Two goats are married, living on a farm. Billy Goat says, "I really want children. Let's make some babies."
Betty Goat responds, "Heck no. No baby goats for me..."
"I'm not kidding."
Something’s goat to give.
I just got an adorable baby goat, but it can’t bend its legs.
The vet said it’s a cute kid knee disorder.
Is a mountain goat a hillbilly?
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