I told my parents I wanted to raise goats for a living, but I was only kidding.
What do you call a goat swimming in the sea?
Billy Ocean.
Goat milk?
Two goats are married, living on a farm. Billy Goat says, "I really want children. Let's make some babies."
Betty Goat responds, "Heck no. No baby goats for me..."
"I'm not kidding."
Why is it hard to carry on a conversation with a goat?
Because they are always butting in.
What’s the definition of butter?
An angry goat.
What did the baby goat say to his father?
I kid you not.
You have goat to be kidding me.
Do hairless goats wish they had mohair?
What does a goat call his girlfriend?
Bae.
How do you keep a goat from charging?
You take his credit card away!
What do you call a goat who paints pictures?
Vincent Van Goat.
What did the goat say when he woke up on a train?
I have no idea how I goat here.
What do you call an immature goat?
A silly billy.
What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?
America’s Goat Talent.
If a young goat learns a martial art, are they a karate kid?
If a goat grows a beard, is it a goatee?
What do goats eat?
Goatmeal.
Did you hear about the mother goat telling jokes?
She’s a real kidder.
What do you call a Spanish goat with no hind legs?
Gracias.
What do you call an outlaw goat?
Billy the Kid.
Why are goats and rhinos attracted to each other?
Because they are both horny animals.
What did the little goats say when they were caught playing a prank on the sheep?
Sorry, we were just kidding.
Did you hear the joke about the lumberjack, The sheep and the goat?
I wood tell ewe, but it’s a baaaaaad joke
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat.
How long has this been going on?
Since I was a kid.
I just got an adorable baby goat, but it can’t bend its legs.
The vet said it’s a cute kid knee disorder.
What kind of music do goats listen to?
Baaa-ch!
Why was the farmer angry?
Because someone got his goat.
Why did the ram run over the cliff edge?
Because he didn’t see the ewe turn.
Young goats should be careful when they're out and and about and shouldn't jump into a stranger's car.
That's how you get kidnapped.
When milking a nervous goat, you should use kid gloves.
What do you call a royal goat wearing denim?
Billy Jean King.
What do you call a goat on a mountain?
Hillbilly.
Whatever floats your goat.
Is a goat that eats office supplies on a staple diet?
I goat this.
Is a mountain goat a hillbilly?
What do you call a Spanish Goat with no hind legs?
Gracias
Something’s goat to give.
Who called it a goat petting zoo...
and not Close Encounters of the Herd Kind?
What symbolizes a goat’s family tree?
A goat of arms.
What do you call a goat who is in charge of a university?
Billy Dean.
Did you hear about the owl who married a goat?
The had a hootenanny.
A goat came out of nowhere and headbutted me
It was a ram-done act of violence
What do you call a goat that lip-syncs?
Billy Vanilli.
What’s a goat’s favorite drink?
Goat-arade.
Why are goats from France musical?
Because they have French horns.
What’s a goat’s favorite musical?
Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dream Goat.
What do mountain climbers share around the campfire?
Goat Stories!
Who did the goats vote for as president?
Billy Clinton.
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