You octopi my thoughts.
We are mint to be.
I cannoli be happy
Your love is like vodka.
You were worth the chase.
When a gardener asks you how much you love them, you could try the effective – I love you from my head to-ma-toes.
You’re udder-ly perfect.
You’re turtle-ly awesome.
Why did the skeleton need a hug?
Because he had nobody.
What is it called when two spies hug?
A bond-ing moment.
Never laugh at your spouse’s choice… You’re one of them.
Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?
Yes, it is February 14th
What is a dairy product like as a partner?
They’re your butter half.
What did one slice of bread say to the other at their wedding?
Let’s grow mold together.
I love you and I ain’t lion.
The cat’s out of the bag – I love you purry much.
Why did Paco's girlfriend not want to kiss him?
She was afraid of the a-Paco-lips.
What shape is a kiss?
A-lip-tickle.
From one vegan to another – I think you’re fern-tastic, and I’ll never leaf you baby.
Life without you would be un-bear-able.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you! and I want the whole world to know it.
My gay lover asked me if date night was optional.
I said no, it's a mandate
You are like my asthma.
You just take my breath away.
What is a cat lover's favourite tree?
A juni-purr.
How do you kiss someone at the end of the world?
On the apoca-lips.
I love you deerly.
I love spending koala-ty time with you.
What did the lipstick say after he let down his friend?
I’ll make it up to you.
Sorry if this is extra cheesy, but you have a pizza my heart.
I have bean
thinking about you.
Why were the melon lovers sad?
Because they cantaloupe.
You are the coffee to my espresso and I love you a latte.
My counselor gave me a hug today
I guess I got shrinkwrapped
You must be copper and terillium because you are Cu-Te
I took a road trip with my girlfriend who finally confessed she needs to stop and hug every now and again to reduce anxiety.
It was touch and go from there on.
What did one boat say to the other boat?
Are you interested in a little row-mance?
Being in love is a lot like central heating in your home.
You turn it on just before your guests come over and pretend that your house is always like this.
What’s it like to kiss a vampire?
A real pain in the neck!
You make miso happy.
My little girl just asked for a goodnight kiss on her nose....
I said I can't kiss that thing it smells!
How do flowers kiss?
With their tulips
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One thing you never want to do is divorce a butcher.
That would be a huge missed steak.
"I think you should embrace the change, son"
Said my father as he handed me a handful of coins.
"I lava you."
I think you’re incredi-bowl.
Do you ever wake up, kiss the person beside you and feel glad you are alive?
I just did and apparently I will not be allowed on this airline again!
My wife and were on the sofa and I lean in for a cuddle.
She says: "careful I'm holding a tea!"
And I say: "and I'm holding you, so I guess we're both holding letters of the alphabet"
Why are volcanos so nice?
They lava you.
While cuddling my girlfriend, I whispered "Honey, this isn't working out for me."
Then I rolled off the bed and started doing push-ups. "This is working out for me!"
Their romance started by candlelight.
But it only lasted a wick.
Why is it always easy for vampires to find their better halves?
Because it’s always love at first bite.