I’m no geometric genius, but all love triangles soon turn into wreck-tangles.
You're one in a melon.
How long have I loved you? I’ve lost track.
I scored when I met you.
Why were the melon lovers sad?
Because they cantaloupe.
I’m o-fish-ally in love with you.
If you get married out on sea or in a boat...
is that a row-mance?
How do you get a teddy bear across the border?
You snuggle it across.
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever ?
What did one boat say to the other boat?
Are you interested in a little row-mance?
How did the telephone propose to his girl?
Duh, ain’t it obvious? He gave her a ring!
You’re my #1 pick.
Why do painters always fall for their models?
Because they love them with all of their art.
My wife and were on the sofa and I lean in for a cuddle.
She says: "careful I'm holding a tea!"
And I say: "and I'm holding you, so I guess we're both holding letters of the alphabet"
What's the deal with people who refuse to embrace technology?
Answers on a postcard please.
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
Why did the skeleton need a hug?
Because he had nobody.
We make a great pear
Pugs and kisses.
I love you from my head tomatoes.
"I'm nuts about you."
Your love will always be up to par.
There were two antennas who met on a roof and they fell in love and decided to get married. The ceremony was nothing fancy, but you could tell that they had a very strong connection.
I used to love puns about throwing things, but now I don’t.
It was just a fling.
Why shouldn't you kiss anyone on January 1st?
Because it's only the first date
Why is it so hard for people with asthma to have exciting dates?
The last thing you want is someone to take your breath away!
Sorry if this is extra cheesy, but you have a pizza my heart.
You are just like my car because you drive me crazy.
What do you get if your lovers soul was trapped in a sword for all eternity?
A babe-blade.
Last winter was so cold, I couldn’t stop telling my wife how much I glove her.
We bee-long together.
What did the bowl of soup write on their Valentine?
I love you pho real.
What is a cat lover's favourite tree?
A juni-purr.
You’re right up my alley.
What did the lighter color shade tell to its dark lover?
I want hue
You must be copper and terillium because you are Cu-Te
What did one leaf say to the other leaf?
I’ve fallen for you.
"I wood never leaf you."
I told my wife to embrace her mistakes
So she gave me a hug!!!
Why is it always easy for vampires to find their better halves?
Because it’s always love at first bite.
What do German meat lovers breathe?
Hamburg-air
What do you call a person who illegally delivers hugs from country to country?
An international snuggler
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive.
Olive, who?
Olive you, and I don’t care who knows it!
I love you with all my butt.
I would say my heart, but it is just not as big. (wink wink where my curvy booties at?!)
Never laugh at your spouse’s choice… You’re one of them.
when I’m with you.
Let’s spend some koala-ty time together.
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
You make miso happy.
Now I know why people love footballers – especially the goalies, they are real keepers.
The cat’s out of the bag – I love you purry much.
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