What is a cat lover's favourite tree?
A juni-purr.
"I'm nuts about you."
I always have a souper time with you.
What’s green and mean and stabs you when you hug it?
Cactus
What did one slice of bread say to the other at their wedding?
Let’s grow mold together.
Let’s commit the perfect crime together.
I’ll steal your heart and you can steal mine.
"I think you should embrace the change, son"
Said my father as he handed me a handful of coins.
I loaf you a lot.
Let’s go to bread.
"Did you hear how the baker proposed to his girlfriend?"
"Yeah, he told her he loafed her more than life itself"
"No, he actually told her how much he kneaded her"
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
What did the astronaut’s fiancé say when he proposed to her in open outer space? She said, “I can’t breathe!”
I'm reading a romance book in Braille.
I don't think I'll finish. It's too touchy feely for me.
What did one boat say to the other boat?
Are you interested in a little row-mance?
I cannot espresso
how much you mean to me.
Last winter was so cold, I couldn’t stop telling my wife how much I glove her.
Why are volcanos so nice?
They lava you.
I whale-y like you.
When girls say they want a guy who can sweep them off their feet...
they do know that there’s a janitor ready for the job, right?
You're my purr-son.
I love you and I ain’t lion.
I get a real kick out of you.
Why is it so hard for people with asthma to have exciting dates?
The last thing you want is someone to take your breath away!
You’re my #1 pick.
What did one leaf say to the other leaf?
I’ve fallen for you.
What did the koala say to his girlfriend?
I love you-calpytus.
I started dating her when she backed her car into mine at the mall.
I guess you could say we totally met by accident.
I whale always love you.
While cuddling my girlfriend, I whispered "Honey, this isn't working out for me."
Then I rolled off the bed and started doing push-ups. "This is working out for me!"
You’re turtle-ly awesome.
when I’m with you.
You’re udder-ly perfect.
What do you call someone that's hungry for some cuddles?
Hugry.
You're one in a melon.
What is it called when two spies hug?
A bond-ing moment.
How do flowers kiss?
With their tulips
Now I know why people love footballers – especially the goalies, they are real keepers.
If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one.
You are just like my car because you drive me crazy.
What did the painter say to his wife? "I love you with all my art!"
What is a dairy product like as a partner?
They’re your butter half.
I pitcher us together forever.
Being in love is a lot like central heating in your home.
You turn it on just before your guests come over and pretend that your house is always like this.
I took a road trip with my girlfriend who finally confessed she needs to stop and hug every now and again to reduce anxiety.
It was touch and go from there on.
How long have I loved you? I’ve lost track.
You octopi my thoughts.
Pugs and kisses.
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One thing you never want to do is divorce a butcher.
That would be a huge missed steak.
I feel thankful for having you as my gym buddy and lover.
Our relationship is really working out.
Never laugh at your spouse’s choice… You’re one of them.
I always have a ball with you.
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