What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
How do fleas get from place to place?
By itch-hiking.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
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