What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
How do fleas get from place to place?
By itch-hiking.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
My dog went on his first date.
But she was a mal-TEASE.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
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