What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
How do fleas get from place to place?
By itch-hiking.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
How do you know when your dog is lazy?
When it chases parked cars.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
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