Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes.
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
What is a dog’s ideal job?
A barkeologist.
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
My dog went on his first date.
But she was a mal-TEASE.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?
Two dogs barking outside your window.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
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