What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What do dogs have that no other animal has?
Puppies.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes.
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.