Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
What is a dog’s ideal job?
A barkeologist.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
How do fleas get from place to place?
By itch-hiking.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.