Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
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