Fish PunsJoke Generator

Nothing fishy here... it's just the world's largest fish pun collection!

A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
Which fish is the most famous? The starfish.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
What is the funniest fish in the sea?
A clownfish.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
Which sea creatures cry the most?
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
How does an octopus go to war?
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
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