Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?
A flightoplankton.
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
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