What did one fish say to the other?
If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
What is the funniest fish in the sea?
A clownfish.
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
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