Nothing fishy here... it's just the world's largest fish pun collection!

A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
Which fish is the most famous? The starfish.
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
What is the funniest fish in the sea?
A clownfish.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!