Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
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