If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
Which fish is the most famous? The starfish.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
What did one fish say to the other?
If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.