Don't a tool, read funny puns about tools instead!

What is one way to save money when you go to the lake?
Buy a “sale boat.”
What do you call an imaginary yacht?
A dream boat.
I’m sure my wife has been putting glue on my weapons collection.
She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.
What do you do when you miss the ferry?
Call a canoe-ber.
Why are snails allowed on ships?
Where does Google keep their ships?
In the Google Docs.
why was the ship called 3.14
because it was full of π-rates.
What kind of melody does a ship makes when if it crashes on shore?
A wreck-quiem.
What did the Bluetooth say as the ship went down?
"Help! We’re syncing!"
Who has the best place on a sailing ship?
The mast, because it has the pole-position.
The bartender asked the pirate, "Is that a ship's wheel sticking out of your pants?"
The pirate replied"Aye! It's driving me nuts!"
What do sailors buy to customise the back of their ships?
Aft-ermarket parts!
Why did all the passengers on the right side of the ship have dead cell phones?
They weren’t on the port side of the ship.
What do you call a seamstress that snuck aboard a ship?
A sew-away!
Red ship hits Blue ship...
Sailors marooned.
Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?
So when they come back to port they can scandinavian.
Watched a TV show about how they build ships.
It was riveting.
How did they punish the longshoreman whose improper ship mooring caused the destruction of a pier?
They docked his pay.
Why are big boats called "Yachts"?
Because they cost "Yachts of money".
If Kim Jong-un had a private yacht, it would be a dictator ship
I’d like to buy a catamaran or a yacht.
I’d like to get the best of boat words.
Mike Tyson bought a yacht and immediately wrecked it.
Who woulda thunk it?
My friend sailed his yacht into the wharf very rapidly, crashing into the dock and causing a dent in the hull.
It's just a berth mark, he swears.
Help!!! There's nobody steering this yacht!!
Don't worry. It's on yachtopilot.
What do you call a boat full of high school graduates
A scholarship.
What do you call a big boat full of fish
A carp ark.
Have you ever been on a party boat?
It’s a Yacht of fun.
What do you call a snail on a boat?
A snailor.
I can row a boat.
I'm Going to Host a Boat Race.
The winner will get pasta. It will be called the Penne Regatta.