Don't a tool, read funny puns about tools instead!

What do sailors buy to customise the back of their ships?
Aft-ermarket parts!
Why don't they make boats out of peppers?
Because they're always capsaicin!
What do you call a boat full of high school graduates
A scholarship.
Help!!! There's nobody steering this yacht!!
Don't worry. It's on yachtopilot.
What kind of gun would a cat have?
A Mauser.
What do you call babies with guns?
Infantry.
What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife? A heartless killer.
What sound did the gun make when the priest shot through two benches to kill a mass shooter?
PEW PEW
I wanted to tell a knife joke to my friend
But it just won't cut it.
If Kim Jong-un had a private yacht, it would be a dictator ship
What do you call someone who owns a boat dealership?
A Sailsmen.
What do you call an imaginary yacht?
A dream boat.
I like to tell this one joke about homemade bombs
But it always blows up in my face.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship.
What did the laser weapon say to the atom bomb?
"OK boomer."
I love driving my car, makes me feel like I'm charge of a big boat
especially when it's on cruise control
What type of knife do chefs use to connect to Bluetooth?
A pairing knife
A man arrived to a gun fight with nothing other than a pencil and paper.
He then proceeded to draw his weapon.
Where does Google keep their ships?
In the Google Docs.
I was sailing my boat when a massive hand rose out of the water and then slowly disappeared...
I thought, 'That's the biggest wave I've ever seen!'
Fortune-teller was killed by a car bomb
Couldn’t foresee the C4.
My friend sailed his yacht into the wharf very rapidly, crashing into the dock and causing a dent in the hull.
It's just a berth mark, he swears.
What do you do when you're in a knife fight with a group of clowns?
Go for the juggler.
I’d like to buy a catamaran or a yacht.
I’d like to get the best of boat words.
I’m sure my wife has been putting glue on my weapons collection.
She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.
I took my boat out to go fishing today. I looked over and saw my neighbor’s dock was parallel to mine.
I guess I found my self in a real “para-docks”
I saw a headline in the newspaper that said someone made a bomb out of nitrous oxide.
This is no laughing matter.
Fork: "Who was that ladle I saw you with last night?"
Spoon: "That was no ladle. That was my knife."
Why did the man bring a gun to the clock factory?
To kill some time.
Why don't boats have funerals?
They have wakes.