Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
What do you call an 'O' on fire?
Flamingo.
How do rainbows sleep? In forty pinks.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
How do you wash clothes at the beach?
With Tide.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
I was hiking yesterday, when I suddenly ran in to a cougar....
Almost made me puma pants!
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
What do you call a baby tree struck by lightning?
A zapling.
They had us working like dogs at work after a storm
All I did was pick up sticks and bark.
During our journey through the savanna grasslands, we kept track of time with the help of an hour-grass.
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..
Dad has a pet snake that eats the grass in his yard.
It's a lawnboa.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What is a cat's favorite color in the rainbow? Purrrrrple of course.
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
What did the baby cloud say to its mum when it rained? Sorry, mum, I couldn't hold it any longer.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
Why were the herbs not fully grown yet? They didn't have enough thyme!
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
It was feeling green
What is the name of the car that passes through the narrow stream of the river? Fjord.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
What did they use to set off the amazon warehouse fire?
Amazon kindle.
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
What type of pants do rain clouds wear? Thunderwear.
There was news of a snowstorm. It arrived white on time.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
What happens when you’re alone and you get too cold.
You’re totally ice-olated.
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