My father decided to mow the lawn today. As he mowed, all the grass blade.
The reason the mountains are hill areas joke gets reposted so often is because it's peak comedy
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
What do you call a friendly volcano? Lava-ble.
I have a hiking playlist with songs from the Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my trail mix.
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
What does seaweed say when it's stuck at the bottom of the sea? "Kelp! Kelp!"
My grand father always said "fight Fire with Fire".
He was a great man but a terrible Fireman
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
What is the best way for fungi to grow? You must give it as mushroom as possible!
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror!
If your boat turns upside down in the river, you can wear it on your head because it's capsized.
The lake did not like the river because it felt that the river was not very lake-able.
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
Most people have off on Independence Day. Except fire.
Fire-works on 4th of July.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
As the storm was brewing, the madman raised his hands and cried, "Hail Storms! Long may they rain!"
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
Why was there lightning and thunder in the lab?
The scientists were brainstorming.
All the grasses were bumping into each other because the grass-light wasn't working in the streets.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
After being stuck in the ice storm all day long, the man said, "I am starving. Can I avalanche?"
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
I sang the rainbow song to a cop yesterday.
They arrested me for colorful language.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
Q: Why was the cloud so dark and stormy?
A: It was feeling mis-thunder-stood.
Life's a beach. Enjoy the waves.
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
Q: Why was the cloud not allowed to cross the border?
A: Because it was a for-rainer
When you get a rainbow after the rain at least you are moving in the bright direction.
Why did the girl walk into the ice cream store with an umbrella?
She heard there were going to be sprinkles
General: "Fire at will!"
Soldier: "Which one's Will?"
How was the misbehaving lightning bolt punished?
He was grounded.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
Feeling fintastic.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
What’s a bigamist?
It’s what Italians call a thick fog.
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