I won an argument about weather forecasting accuracy. My fellow debater's logic was cloudy. After his defeat, he was fuming and he stormed out of the room.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
Why do cows eat grass?
I mean, someone has to moo the lawn.
What do you call a chicken that was struck by lightning?
Air fried.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
My wife said the stretch marks on her legs looked like lightning bolts...
So I said, that's because you have thunder thighs.
Why was the boxer fired from his job?
He never punched out.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
What do you call the least popular color in the rainbow? The weakest pink.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
I heard there are some fires near Greece
We’re gonna need a lot of baking soda.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
Due to bad weather, I won't be attending the Meteorology Convention.
I'm gonna take a rain-check.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
Got a cow helping me cut the grass. He's a lawn mooer.
What did the tornado say to the washing machine?
Want to go for a spin?
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
How do you wash clothes at the beach?
With Tide.
A mountain biker was chased by a Grizzly this morning. He bearly made it.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.
What do you call a funnel shaped storm made of ketchup?
A tormato.
Why did the obtuse Triangle go to the beach?
Because it was more than 90°.
Why do sailors eat shellfish when rain is forecast?
It’s the clam before the storm.
There's a basic difference between weather and climate: you can't weather a tree, but you can definitely climate.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
How many colors are in the rainbow? I haven't got a blue.
Beach, please.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
The book on Mount Everest was super interesting because it had so many cliffhangers.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
What do you call dumb jokes at the beach?
Comic sands.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
I'm like a cow in tall grass,
I'm utterly tickled to be here.
Q: How do clouds keep in touch with each other?
A: Using sky-pe.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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