Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
What clothes do rainbows wear? Thunderpants.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
Thunderstorms are shrewd investors. They put their money in a combination of frozen and liquid assets.
I need to apologize to my fellow Californians for all the recent forest fires.
Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
Q: What do you call a gust of wind that blows a tall guys onto a basketball court?
A: The NBA draft
Q: How do clouds keep in touch with each other?
A: Using sky-pe.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
Our weather bureau is actually an umbrella organization.
What happens when it rains cats and dogs? You have to be careful not to step in a poodle!
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
Why were the herbs not fully grown yet? They didn't have enough thyme!
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
What is the most depressed river in Southern Europe? The Crimea River.
What did the teaching tree do when it went overseas? It took a leaf of absence!
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
What language do things that fly in the sky speak....
Plane english
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
When I arrived onset on a cloudy, dreary day, too many actors had been hired for the small part...
It was overcast.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker
Never forget how beautiful the mountains are. You don't want to take them for granite.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
Mother always knows best. But when winter comes around, Mother Nature snows best.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Pickle
Pickle who?
Pickle little flower and give it to your mother!
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What do you call a Grizzly at a nude beach?
Bear Naked.
Do you want to hear a joke about a bolt of lightning?
Actually, maybe not. The end is rather shocking.
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
That rainbow is so neat, it must be professional gradient.
What did the thunderstorm say to the lightning rod?
You'll never catch me, copper!
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
There’s an old oak near my house that’s always surrounded by fog.
I don’t know why, it’s a mist tree.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
How do you cut the sea in half? With a see saw!
I got fired from the unemployment office on Friday.
My boss said, “Clean out your desk, and I’ll see you in the office on Monday.”
Go to BabaMail
