What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite game?
Jump rope.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.