What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite game?
Jump rope.
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
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