What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite game?
Jump rope.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
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