What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite game?
Jump rope.
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
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