Why does NASA give astronauts pencils to use in space?
Because they've got the Write Stuff.
What are Astronauts doing when they do a mistake?
They Apollogize
The sun replies: I hurt everyone when they come close to me.
What spread do astronauts use on their toast?
. . . Space jam
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.
Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.
Where do Astronauts go to the bathroom?
Where no one has gone before.
What do you say to an astronaut looking for a car park
There's a spaceman.
Why people did not like the restaurant on? Because there was literally no atmosphere.
There’s a lot of proposals on cleaning up space in earth’s orbit from broken satellites.
Looks like they’ll need a vacuum cleaner.
I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he’d walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong.
He’ll come around eventually.
Cassini spacecraft took pictures of both Saturn and Earth. It was literally the best of both worlds.
What's E.T. short for?
Because he's got little legs.
What do you call a meal from the moon?
A satellite dish.
What do you call an overweight alien?
An extra cholesterol.
Beer is the greatest beverage on earth.
That's my pint of view, anyway.
What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
I don’t get why people buy into the flat earth theory.
I mean, the arguments for it aren’t exactly well rounded.
Why did the cow go right up to the spaceship? To see the Mooooooooooon.
What will a space turkey say to another one? Hubble Hubble.
I thought about studying the astronomy for my university. But then I thought, I would just be taking up space.
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket.
Why did the police arrest the star? That’s becuase it was a shooting star.
Have you heard the one about the spaceship that came to Earth?
Never mind its over your head.
How do astronauts prepare for a birthday party
They planet.
How many ears do you think a Spock has? Three. A right ear, left ear, and a final front ear.
How does one astronaut says sorry on the moon tell another astronaut? He Apollo-gises.
People gave the sun a rating.
It was only one star.
When astronauts die, the local papers run an orbituary.
What holds the moon up?
Moonbeams!
How will you make the earth clean? By giving it a meteor shower.
Why haven't the aliens visited earth yet?
They read the reviews... only one star.
I've finally started to believe that Pluto is not really a planet...
Especially when I saw him in a cartoon.
"Hi, I'm Buzz Aldrin. Second person to step on the moon.
Neil before me."
Mooning is very ASStrological
What do you call an alien spaceship that's leaking water?
A crying saucer.
Can’t wait for the first married woman to walk on the red planet.
Just so I can ask if there’s wife on Mars.
What did Neil Armstrong say when people didn't laugh at his moon jokes?
"I guess you had to be there."
Have you heard about some bones on the moon? Looks like the cow couldn’t make it after all.
What does someone mean by a light year? The same as a regular year, but with less calories and fat.
When God integrated Planet Earth, he didn’t forget his integral calculus lesson.
He remembered to add the sea.
I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!" and I thought to myself...
“That’s just spam.”
Two astronauts who were dating, met up for a launch date.
How does a quarter moon always feel?
Crestfallen.
What do you call a fashionable, but judgmental monster who howls at the moon?
A What Not To Wear-Wolf.
What kind of magazines would the planets prefer to read? Cosmos.
Is that the Dog star? You can’t be Sirius!
Where do you think the astronauts keep their sandwiches? In the launch-box.
When should astronauts retire?
When they start spacing out.
Where do aliens park their flying saucers?
At a parking meteor.
The satellite went into the orbit, right on January 1st, causing a New Year’s revolution.
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