I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
What do sharks order at McDonalds?
A quarter flounder.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
How did the hammerhead do on his test?
He nailed it.
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite.
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
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