What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
How did the hammerhead do on his test?
He nailed it.
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
What do sharks order at McDonalds?
A quarter flounder.
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
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