What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite.
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
How did the hammerhead do on his test?
He nailed it.
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
What do sharks order at McDonalds?
A quarter flounder.
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
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