I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish?
A loan shark
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
What do sharks order at McDonalds?
A quarter flounder.
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
How did the hammerhead do on his test?
He nailed it.
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite.