Science Puns

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What is a surfer's least favorite kitchen appliance?
A Microwave
What did Communists use to light their houses before candles? Electricity.
One of the historical figures to play music with has got to be the talented Mr. Ben-jam-in Franklin.
Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
They already 8!
I don't think I need a spine.
It's holding me back.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
Why did the lights go out? Because they liked each other!”
What’s the best way to woo a math teacher?
Use acute angle.
I got arrested at work today for moving my desk away from the air conditoner vent.
I was charged with draft-dodging!
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
Who was the most flatulent Pharaoh in all of old Egypt?
King Tootsarecommon.
Where in the World Can You Find the Highest Concentration of Engineers?
Antarctica! Because that's where all the P. Enguins are!
Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time… I was shocked.”
If George Frederic Handel would be born in the modern era, his favorite song would be "Club Can't Even Handel Me."
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
What did the structural engineer say to the architect? Nice buttress.
I bought you a refrigirator.
I can't wait to see your face light up as you open it.
How are air conditioners like humans?
Both get turned on when it's hot.
I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. He said, “I’m not sure, it’s hard to keep track.”
To get to the other tide.
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
My son asked me how I never seemed to lose the TV remote when he was growing up.
I told him I'd always put it in a location away from all the clutter...
A remote location.
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
A physics student ask his teacher: "Can you point me to someone who can teach me a way in which quantum mechanics can be united with general relativity?"
The teacher answers: "Let me see if I can pull some strings for you."
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar. The barman says, why the long phase?”
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
How can you tell the camera was afraid of the toaster?
Everytime he looked at it, it made him shutter.
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
Why did the mammoth have a woolly coat?
Because he would have looked ridiculous in an anorak.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium?
He just couldn’t put it down.
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
What is better than a physics joke?
A meta physics joke.
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
When the proposal of building a parking lot was given to Richard III, he told said, "Over my dead body."
A policeman was busted for collecting bribes and hiding the money in his freezer....
When the authorities searched his freezer, they found nothing but cold hard cash
What explorer was the best at Hide and Seek?
Marco Polo.
What was the biologist wearing on his first date with a hot chick? Designer jeans.
My electrician friend accidentally blew the power to the ice-making factory. Now they’ve gone into liquidation.
I’m a hardcore believer in the “i before e except after c” rule
It’s science.
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