How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Stick him in an oven until his Bill Withers
My buddy asked me "if you could kill anyone in history, who would it be?"
I said I probably wouldn't kill anyone in history, but Pete in math is bloody annoying sometimes.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
Just landed in Rome, Italy. My pilot used to be a Franciscan Monk...
...But now he's an Air Friar.
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
Never argue with Pi, it's irrational.
Ah! The element of surprise.
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
Found out I washed some of my son's nerf darts in his laundry...
Should make for some good clean shots.
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?
Because it can't sit down!
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
I bought a lamp for my friend
To brighten their day
Do you find bone puns humerus?
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
My friend called and said he was sick of his fireplace exhaust vent...
Sounds like another case of the flue.
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
How is a dog and a marine biologist alike? One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
I couldn't resist this flirty TV remote...
It was an instant turn on.
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
How do you get from point A to point B?
Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
My physics professor told me I had potential
Then he pushed me off the roof.
This soldier, Titius, liked to kick a soccer ball around at night and was suspected of breaking some important statues. When his friends asked why he hadn't showed up for his platoon's morning workout, Terentius Vespa quipped,
"Oh, it's okay - he said he broke an arm."
What did the ancient roman dad name his fat newborn?
Voluminous.
What element is derived from a Norse god? Thorium.
What Did The Gladiator Do With The Glory-Hole?
He put his spear in it.
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
He was a Ramen Catholic.
Sitting near the fireplace is just like a whole bunch of bees...
'swarm
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages? He was a man of many cultures.
Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
What do you call a slice of bread you put in the toaster?
A tanning bread.
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
You’re a unit of electrical energy, Harry.” I’m a watt?”
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
What do football players wear on their heads? Helminth
What is an energy provider’s favorite dance?
The electric slide.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time?
You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
Why did George Washington have sleeping problems? Because he is unable to lie.
What did one mole say to the other?
We have great chemistry together.
What did the nerdy duckling say ?
Quark Quark.
How do you do math in your head?
Just use imaginary numbers.
Go to BabaMail
