Engineers like to Solve Problems but...
If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own.
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.
Had to replace all the bulbs in the side table lamps. Then I had to replace the ones in my ceiling fan.
That was the highlight of my day.
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow.
It was our last warming.
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb? He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.”
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association.
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
Who led the Australians into the promised land, through a semipermeable membrane?
Ozmoses.
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
What type of flowers does everybody have? two-lips.
Why wasn't the geologist hungry? He lost his apatite.
England is the wettest country because many monarchs reigned there for many years.
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
Franz Joseph constantly sour about everything because he was always Haydn.
What’s the best tool to install an electrical plug with?
A socket wrench.
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
Phil told me about what lights up a light bulb.
But I didn’t know what Phil-a-meant.
I gave my wife a lamp for our anniversary.
Someone’s getting LED tonight.
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
What TV shows are squeaky clean?
Soap Operas
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
How do you tell the difference between boys and girls?
Take their genes down.
What attracts knights in shining armor even more than damsels in distress?
Magnets
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
How did the geology student drown?
His grades were below C-level.
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
What do you call a Roman with a wet mustache and a smile?
Gladiator.
What do you call a medieval spearman who is self employed?
A freelancer.
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
At what point will you love to change your bulbs the most?
When sparks fly.
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
What did one mole say to the other?
We have great chemistry together.
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.