What's the Difference Between a Chemist and a Chemical Engineer?
Oh, about $10 K a year.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap? Because it was on shale.
History. History. Did I just rewrite history?
We had a lively debate in physics.
It was a conversation of energy.
My teacher told me in History class to do some light reading on the history of the light bulb.
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t Cosine.
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
How are air conditioners like humans?
Both get turned on when it's hot.
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
Once upon a time, there was a king who loved traveling through tunnels. The people gave him the name: Alex-Under."
What's the Difference Between Mechanical & Civil Engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets.
Why couldn't I fry wood on the stove?
I used a non-stick pan.
Why did the electrical cords break up? There was no spark between them.”
What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool? His lightsaber”
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
Why did the electrician marry his colleague? He couldn’t resistor.
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
What do you call a turtle in a chef’s hat?
A slow cooker.
If you need an Ark, I Noah guy.
When I wrote the history of cheese for our term paper in school, our History teacher said it was grate.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
Why did Julius Caesar never say thank you to anyone?
He didn't speak English.
Why are geologists no fun at parties?
They like to be stone-cold sober.
What's a snake's favorite subject to study in school? Hisssstory.
What happens when you put your hand in a blender?
You get a hand shake.
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
Why are environmentalists bad at playing cards? They like to avoid the flush.
A hand mixer started a speakeasy.
It was a wisk-y business.
In the old times, the medieval kings and queens would only visit the dentist just before their coronation. This is because they wanted their teeth crowned!
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
Who was the biggest prankster in George Washington's army?
Laugh-ayette!
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft?
A Duct-ape.
What did the teacher do with her student's report on the history of cheese?
She grated it.
The crosseyed history teacher
Could not control her pupils.
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
I was going to become a biologist. But all the endless coursework on hearts and lungs and kidneys and so on just made it seem like one long organ recital.
In history class, the teacher taught said the Magna Carta was signed in 1215 and to write an essay on it. A student handed in his work with "The Magna Carta was signed in 1215" written 150 times.
The teacher asked the boy, "Why did you write this?" The boy replied, "Because you always say that history repeats itself!"
Hey why Are The Viruses All Gone? Cause They "flu" AWAY.
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
They’re both ATV
What is an energy provider’s favorite dance?
The electric slide.
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