Brrrr....brrrrrrrr.,,,,birrrrrrrrdddd! Welcome to the coolest place, literally, in the pun section! Welcome to PENGUIN PUNS!

What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.