Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
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