Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
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