Penguin Puns

Brrrr....brrrrrrrr.,,,,birrrrrrrrdddd! Welcome to the coolest place, literally, in the pun section! Welcome to PENGUIN PUNS!

What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
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