What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
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