Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”